[samsing90]

We been together for almost 4 months and it’s a long distances relationship. She currently at Malaysia for university and I’m at US for university (which is a 2 day plane travel). We start dating in Malaysia before I came back to US. We been calling each other almost every day via skype, international phone call etc. We haven’t have any problems, no major fights over the phone and suddenly yesterday night she told me that we are better off as friends, and we were still fine in the morning, and she told me that she loves me and will always be there for me.

I felt very surprised and she told me she don’t have the feeling that she use to have with me and our love is getting lesser and lesser since I left. I really love her and never did anything to hurt her like be mean, jerk or anything to make her mad, sad etc. I always care about her cause she studying law and she's really stress, and I’m always there to talk to her when she stress or not happy. I can’t understand how she just let go all in the sudden when I’ve been caring for her every single day, like asking her how was her day and bad things happen, all the stuff a boyfriend should do. And she just message me and tell me we are better off as best friend and she said I can still tell her my problems and secrets.

I feel so weird, it’s like a part of you just left you, my heart was pounding really hard and feels my heart is like squeezing but I already have a preparation of her leaving me one day few months ago, but still I didn’t expect it that quickly. I feel my life isn’t the same anymore without her. I couldn’t even sleep, I will be thinking of her and our memories when we are together and our stories. And she told me that long distance relationship doesn’t work out and refuse to listen to me and my calls and she said see few years later when I return back to Malaysia which is after getting my master degree which is about 5 and a half year from now (she also have a lot of guys trying to date her in her university).

I don’t know if I should love her and hoping she will come back to me or move on. I was feeling kind of sad and angry cause she can let all the stuff we built and let it all go all in a sudden, and I wish to marry her as my ultimate goal. Please give your advice

[talaniman]

Your hurt is understandable.4 months or 4 years it does hurt to be dumped whether nice or very harshly. But you do have to move on and someday appreciate the good of the last four months as you heal from the bad part of it, and you surely will heal the heart eventually.

Forget being just friends for now as the hurt is still too fresh, and it will only intensify the pain, and delay the healing process from even starting.

Sorry.

[Homegirl 50]

I understand your pain but the best thing for you to do is leave her alone and put your life back together without her. She is ready to end this. Respect that.

[Jodiedoll]

I would still be friends with her , would u rather have her as a friend or not in your life atall ?

[talaniman]

I would hope you read the experiences of others here that have tried to keep exes they dated as friends and the misery it causes them because they were not capable of dealing with their own feelings and let false hope and intense feeling color their judgment.

Take time to allow acceptance to sink in and take hold my friend, and a healthy friendship may happen. Healing is a process you cannot rush, and will help you adjust to reality, and make good decisions based on facts, and not just intense feelings of the heart.

Its tough so good luck.