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    Lexie Sumner's Avatar
    Lexie Sumner Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jun 26, 2013, 04:51 AM
    Is it bad for a 12 year old to date a 17 year old
    Hi My name is Lexie and, I'm about to be 13! I have a special guy in my life his name is Austin and he's 17. I have been going over ,and over in my head about if it would be possible for us to date or not. My family is NOT supportive at all. We both really like each other for the values we share and have discovered about ourselves. I don't see why it would be so bad to date but I am reaching out to others for advice please reply for answers! Thank You, Lexie <3
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
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    #2

    Jun 26, 2013, 04:55 AM
    'Bad' isn't quite the right word. It's unsafe for you. No matter how much he cares about you and respects you, you are too young for intense one-on-one emotional involvement, which too often leads to sex and all the problems that go with sex (starting with pregnancy, whether you use birth control or not).
    Therefore it (sex) at your age is against the law in most of the world. Dating usually leads to sex.
    But even though I say this last, it's really first: your parents don't approve, and that's a wise decision. As long as they support you and are legally liable for your actions and safety, you have to do what they say. They can have him arrested, even if you haven't had sex, for endangerment, which goes by different terms in different locales.
    Curlyben's Avatar
    Curlyben Posts: 18,514, Reputation: 1860
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    #3

    Jun 26, 2013, 04:55 AM
    You already have the ONLY answer that matters
    My family is NOT supportive at all.
    At this age you MUST have parental permission.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #4

    Jun 26, 2013, 05:36 AM
    First, at 13, you are too young to date one on one. Second, As noted, unless your parents give approval (and I think they are right in not approving), he could get in trouble defying them.

    I'm also wondering why a 17 yr old, is hanging out with a 12 yr old in the first place. He should know better.
    teacherjenn4's Avatar
    teacherjenn4 Posts: 4,005, Reputation: 468
    Education Expert
     
    #5

    Jun 26, 2013, 07:45 AM
    Listen to everyone here because they are right: you must obey your parents. I'm curious as to what his parents think about their son wanting to date a 12 year old. You're way too young to date, let alone a 17 year old. Enjoy middle school and your friends there.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
     
    #6

    Jun 26, 2013, 07:47 AM
    Your parents say no and that is all that matters. As a parent I would be livid and want to talk to the parents of this young man. I'm more concerned about a 17 year old boy hanging around a 12 year old girl. That is messed up.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #7

    Jun 26, 2013, 09:05 AM
    A 17 dates a 12 year old for only one reason, sex, may not say it to start but he will go there quickly. So no, you can not date him
    1o11y's Avatar
    1o11y Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #8

    Jun 26, 2013, 09:12 AM
    People might think its wrong when you are 12 and 17 but it will be perfectly normal when you are 22 and 27
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #9

    Jun 26, 2013, 09:15 AM
    a 12 year old child is not 22, so the comparison has no value and is laughable that anyone would suggest it.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
     
    #10

    Jun 26, 2013, 09:19 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by 1o11y View Post
    people might think its wrong when you are 12 and 17 but it will be perfectly normal when you are 22 and 27
    It is normal when you are both adults. We are talking about a child and a 17 year old. There is no comparison. It is wrong,
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
    current pert
     
    #11

    Jun 26, 2013, 09:30 AM
    'People might think it's wrong' sounds like an argument with those people. You follow with 'but' and then give a meaningless scenario for rationalizing your 'but' clause. She isn't talking about waiting 10 years. Everyone knows that age gaps are relative.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
    Computer Expert and Renaissance Man
     
    #12

    Jun 26, 2013, 09:32 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by 1o11y View Post
    people might think its wrong when you are 12 and 17 but it will be perfectly normal when you are 22 and 27
    Yes, it would be perfectly normal if the ages were 22 and 27. But they ARE NOT. There is a very large difference between 12 and 17 that ceases to exist when both are adults.

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