[Jade157]

>threads merged<

First off, I have a therapist who I see, I'm on cetalopram, so I am trying to deal with this in the way that I should.

But I cannot remember anything. I rember my friends first and last names, their significant others, and how to do normal tasks.

But I have looked at my depression medication 1000 times, and when writing this I still had to look up the name.

I have asked 6 times the name of a type of mango - and still cannot remember.

I have become terribly depressed. I actually do not see family and friends because I cannot carry out a conversation. It's a struggle to speak to people.

I have not always been like this. I have been said to talk non-stop. But right now I can't even think what I would talk about.

I have always had depression. I was so happy 6 months ago though.

But I had an abortion 2 months ago and an IUD put in at the same time. And I've never bounced back.

I actually feel nothing. I'm in love with my boyfriend and l love my friends and family, but also think I could never see any of them again and everything would be fine.

I feel like I want to die. Not actually commit suicide. But the same way I'd like to - win the lottery. It would be a relief.

I don't know what to do. I miss the way I used to be. I miss being happy. I miss feeling like myself. It's like I cannot speak. Cannot feel normal. Or like myself.

Maybe I've never been normal? I can't remember

[joypulv]

Not remembering a lot of what happens around you in recent times (and things like names of mangos) is very common with depression, mostly because you are distracted by your thoughts and by a sense that a lot just doesn't matter that much, not because of something medically 'wrong' with you.
If someone comes back from war, or escaping political oppression by walking hundreds of miles, or an airplane crash, or violent attack - post traumatic stress isn't that different either. Your mind is occupied with thoughts that just don't relate to that commercial on TV, or 2 friends babbling about which shoes look cutest. So you tune out.
You need to TALK about what IS in your thoughts. If it's the abortion or the events that led up to it, talk about that. It is easier for some women than others, and there's nothing wrong with one way of coping over another. Tell us if you want.

[Zea]

Depression causes memory loss that is true.

Forgetting new stuff you are trying to learn might mean depression or it could be because of the medication you are taking for depression. I suggest that you talk to your doctor about this.

“But I have looked at my depression medication 1000 times, and when writing this I still had to look up the name.” Did you have this problem before taking “cetalopram”? If yes than its depression; if not, then it's the medication. Either way, talk to your doctor about this.

[Robert Brenner]

Jade, (love that name) the good news is that you know what you don't want. And you are seeking to change. See that as your first step back to how you want to feel. The past is the past and you can't rewind or replay. Be patient with you and know that you are doing the best you can. One step at a time. They will get easier and bigger each step.

[JudyKayTee]

There are many threads on the internet about this drug - yes, it causes memory loss (usually short term) and, yes, it's reversible when you stop taking it.

Is there an alternative?

Treating depression is one thing. Treating loss of memory (which appears to be your question) is quite another.

[Jade157]

Is this where I answer this?

I think I could remember things before. I could remember things a few months ago. It's just now.

[Jade157]

Not remembering a lot of what happens around you in recent times (and things like names of mangos) is very common with depression, mostly because you are distracted by your thoughts and by a sense that a lot just doesn't matter that much, not because of something medically 'wrong' with you.
If someone comes back from war, or escaping political oppression by walking hundreds of miles, or an airplane crash, or violent attack - post traumatic stress isn't that different either. Your mind is occupied with thoughts that just don't relate to that commercial on TV, or 2 friends babbling about which shoes look cutest. So you tune out.
You need to TALK about what IS in your thoughts. If it's the abortion or the events that led up to it, talk about that. It is easier for some women than others, and there's nothing wrong with one way of coping over another. Tell us if you want.

Maybe THIS is where I reply?

Well, since getting depressed again, I do the bear minimum that I have to do to survive.

If my boyfriend isn't home, I don't get out of bed. Don't shower, or exercise, or see my friends. Or talk to anyone.

When he is, I can usually fake enough of a good mood to make dinner and watch TV. I feel like I haven't had a real conversation with anyone in ages. I don't know what I would talk about.

I have a mountain of debt that is weighing on me. Student debt. Credit card debt. I don't know how to get out of it.

Maybe I was just hopeful before that everything would work out. But I now feel hopeless. I feel like it would be so much better if I just wasn't here. I don't feel like I contribute anything. I don't feel proud of anything. I don't feel happy.

[Wondergirl]

Maybe THIS is where I reply?

Well, since getting depressed again, I do the bear minimum that I have to do to survive.

If my boyfriend isn't home, I don't get out of bed. Don't shower, or excercise, or see my friends. Or talk to anyone.

When he is, I can usually fake enough of a good mood to make dinner and watch tv. I feel like I haven't had a real conversation with anyone in ages. I don't know what I would talk about.

I have a mountain of debt that is weighing on me. Student debt. Credit card debt. I don't know how to get out of it.

Maybe I was just hopeful before that everything would work out. But I now feel hopeless. I feel like it would be so much better if I just wasn't here. I don't feel like I contribute anything. I don't feel proud of anything. I don't feel happy.

You replied in the correct way.

Are you telling your therapist all this?

[Jade157]

I feel like I cannot remember ANYTHING I have ever learned. I have been in university and can't remember more than a few facts.

I have never been a person to recall musicians or bands. But I feel like I know NOTHING.

I can't answer any Jeprody or Trivia questions. My math skills are adequate.

But new information, is barely sticking. And I can't hold onto anything old. I don't remember teachers names.

I have drank a lot. Many party nights. Have I drank away all my brain cells? I used to think some facts would be foggy to me because I was out drinking with my friends. Now I feel - maybe I just can't remember things.

Should I go to the doctor? What can I do about it? Is it because I'm depressed?

[Zea]

Your doctor said you are depressed. Why do you think you're not?

Drinking in large amounts, as we all know, damages the brain. It can cause memory loss. But drinking in moderation is actually beneficial to your brain. It slows down Alzheimer's. I read this in a book about Alzheimer's disease. I don't remember the title, but I think it was by Dr. Small.

Stop drinking! Talk to your doctor about this.

[JudyKayTee]

Did anyone read what I posted - that this drug causes memory loss, worse with alcohol?

[Zea]

I read your post.

Did you read what the OP last posted? The other merged thread I mean.

[JudyKayTee]

Where she said she's mixing the drug with alcohol? Yes, I read it. I'm the one who asked that the threads be combined.

What did I miss?

[Zea]

I don't know. I am lost now. What's your question again?

Does this help? /: “I have drank a lot. Many party nights. Have I drank away all my brain cells?” (#9)

“-she said she's mixing the drug with alcohol” Where did the OP put this info?

[JudyKayTee]

Post #1 (OP) - “I'm on cetalopram”

Post #9 (OP) - “I have drank a lot. Many party nights. Have I drank away all my brain cells? I used to think some facts would be foggy to me because I was out drinking with my friends. Now I feel - maybe I just can't remember things.

Post #10 (you - I thought reading the same way I am, OP is drinking and taking meds as per Post #1 and explaining that alcohol is beneficial to the brain and can slow down the progression of Alzheimers) - “It can cause memory loss. But drinking in moderation is actually beneficial to your brain. It slows down Alzheimer’s. I read this in a book about Alzheimer's disease. I don't remember the title, but I think it was by Dr. Small. Stop drinking!”

Post #11 (me) - “this drug causes memory loss, worse with alcohol?”

Post #12 (you) - “she said she's mixing the drug with alcohol” Where did the OP put this info?”

I’m reading it’s a possibility to be noted - Posts #9 and #10.

Does that help?

On another note I volunteer at a Nursing Home in a memory impairment unit. Where did you find the info about alcohol/Alzheimers? I would like to read it, and I can’t find it.

[Wondergirl]

On another note I volunteer at a Nursing Home in a memory impairment unit. Where did you find the info about alcohol/Alzheimers? I would like to read it, and I can’t find it.

I'm guessing it's this man and one (or more) of his books.

[Zea]

"Does that help?" Yes, sorry I wasn't paying any attention.

"On another note I volunteer at a Nursing Home in a memory impairment unit. Where did you find the info about alcohol/Alzheimers? I would like to read it, and I can't find it."

I read this in a book. I just searched it because I couldn't remember the title, but luckily I remember the author's name.
Here is where you can find this information: Alzheimer's Prevention Program by Dr. Small. It's written in a simple way so that someone with no medical experience can understand it; someone like me.

[JudyKayTee]

Thanks WG - I'll ask when I'm on the Unit. Sounds rather odd to me, but then again, so do lots of things!

I also want to check Dr. Small's credentials.

[Wondergirl]

Thanks WG - I'll ask when I'm on the Unit. Sounds rather odd to me, but then again, so do lots of things!

I also want to check Dr. Small's credentials.

His credentials seem shiny enough, Here is what Zea must be referring to --

Gary W. Small, M.D.: Does Alcohol Help Prevent Alzheimer's?

[JudyKayTee]

Wow - well, if alcohol prevents Alzheimers my "ex" will live to be about 999 years old.