[Budskie22]

Like the title says, she ended it, but here is a bit of background. First, I'm 23 she's 19 and I was her first serious anything and subsequently took her virginity. When I met her I was a bit of a man whore and she was the only one that has ever made me wait- it worked on getting me to stick around and fall deeply in love with this beautiful woman that accepted my faults and past. Fast forward until 2 months ago, with minimal arguments/disagreements she says she wants to break up. I was completely taken by surprise and fought tooth and nail to change her mind. We settled on a two week break and then got back together.

Now, I noticed that she seemed rather distant to me at times but things were basically back to normal and I was happy and she was happy. But, then after some school problems and problems at home of mine, I go to her and say that I'm moving out and expected her to join me in because of all the times we discussed it, needless to say she says no because we have been rocky and she is young and feels it would be irresponsible. I was upset but I understood. Later that evening she says she isn't ready for this type of relationship and concluded on breaking up.

I have been a mess the past 3 days, I know deep down she doesn't want us to end. And I understand that she is young and needs to experience new things and continue growing as her own person. So please don't beat that horse to death if you choose to respond. All in all, I want her back. She is beautiful inside and out, we have shared so much together and I would love to grow old with her. She has said that she doesn't want to break up but I have been asking for more seriousness than she can offer right now and hopes to find herself soon before she regrets/too late. We plan on meeting to finish talking sometime soon, any advice or tips?

This girl means the world to me and I do love her more than anything. Please keep the negativity to a minimum, I want to hold her again soon.

[Alty]

I have been a mess the past 3 days, I know deep down she doesn't want us to end. And I understand that she is young and needs to experience new things and continue growing as her own person. So please don't beat that horse to death if you choose to respond. All in all, I want her back. She is beautiful inside and out, we have shared so much together and I would love to grow old with her. She has said that she doesn't want to break up but I have been asking for more seriousness than she can offer right now and hopes to find herself soon before she regrets/too late. We plan on meeting to finish talking sometime soon, any advice or tips?

You hit the nail on the head, all on your own, which is likely why you don't want the only advice that is valid in my opinion.

She's 19, you're her first serious anything. She needs time to be 19, date, have fun, flirt, make mistakes. Obviously she didn't get that out of her system before now. She's not ready for a serious relationship right now, she's not where you are. That often happens when you date someone younger than you.

Let me put it this way. My husband and I were both 19 when we started dating. We had dated other people before, we weren't each other's first anything. We got married at 24.

Now, if he had asked me to be serious at 19, not only date, I would have ran for the hills. I wasn't ready at 19 to be that serious, thankfully nor was he, the beauty of dating someone your own age. Not that we dated casually, we were exclusive, but talk about moving in together, stuff like that, was not something we were ready for at that time. Most 19 year olds aren't.

She's 19, she's young, in many ways she's still a child, she has a lot of maturing to do to be at the level of a 23 year old. You're 23, you're looking to the future, you want a commitment. She's not ready for that yet. She just wants to date, and since you want more, she's running scared.

You have to meet her half way, realize that it's going to take a bit of time for her to get to where you are relationship wise.

[talaniman]

The only tip I can give you is hope for the best, but plan for the worst, and accept whatever her decision is with dignity, and grace, and enough maturity to keep yourself respect.

[Budskie22]

Yeah, I guess I know she needs to grow and experience all that stuff. I guess I was asking more if I should hope and pray that we can get back together or just move on... I talked her today and I called her my pet name for her and she cholked up a bit and I asked her if she still wanted to be mine and she nodded and we hugged for a while... like effin a you know? Just very confusing and I want us to be together again.

I'm not trying to blow this out of proportion and handle maturely. I'm not complaining about a 2 month thing saying my life is over blah blah. But I am struggling and want her back.

And I do like the hope for the best but prepare for the worst. That's a great way to look at it. Thank you.