[Cory_Stewie]

Okay so me and this guy, flirted and became really close over the last few months and we have tried making it official twice now and he just wasn't ready for a relationship, so we just decided to stay best friends.

Well the other night he told me that he liked my best friend. I talked about it to my best friend and she said she didn't feel the same and she loved a different guy. She doesn't know how he feels. Today I worked up all the courage I had and asked if he would give me a chance and go on a date with me. He said it sounded like a great idea but not really cause he likes my best friend.

I was crushed and still am and I want to tell him how she feels but can't cause it would kill him. And I just don't know what to do. I want them to be happy but not together. Am I being selfish? What should I do? Help!?

[Jake2008]

It is a crossroads isn't it.

If you want to date your best friend, he will no longer be your best friend, but a boyfriend.

In my experience, having a best friend, and changing the relationship, then trying to go back to what it was, seldom works.

A best friend you will have all your life, but boyfriends will come and go.

Think twice about the value of your friendship, especially since he is not interested in you romantically, which isn't likely to change. Enjoy his happiness with anyone he dates, and let go of the dream of him being yours.

[letitsnow324]

I agree with whatever Jake said about friendships turned relationships.

To add to that, think about it like this... if you do tell him that your girl friend doesn't like him, first off, his feelings for her wouldn't have disappeared. Second, even if he does agree to date you, you will still be his more attainable second choice. It would take a crap load of inner strength and self esteem to not care about this, IMO. Personally, I think you deserve better than just "a chance" to go out with him.

Also, who cares if it's a little selfish that you want to date him? Anyway, the most reasonable thing to do, even if it's suboptimal, is to move on from him for the time being. Regardless of the circumstances, he still rejected you, which means he didn't like you enough to go out with you. He may or may not come to like you in the mean while. Perhaps give it some more time, and ask him again? And yeah, rejection does suck, but in the grand scheme of things, you'll be perfectly fine. I promise. :-)

[talaniman]

Stay out of love triangles and never get between two friends who like each other. Rejection sucks especially when you had high hopes, but at least now you can deal with it and not feel bad for looking at other options.

Its called growing pains. You learn from it for the future.