[nikopj]

So here it goes!

I am married with a wonderful person for almost 2 years, problem, I still love my ex.

To begin with I used to be with the other person for 7 years through a long distance relationship, and a very strange on indeed. After some major propblem I have decided to put everything to the past. I went back to my country of origin (where both people are) and I met my wife. She cam to the US and then a year after we got married. I really loved the other person and it was the first time I felt something like this for anyone, but it was going nowhere. We were trying to be with each other and it did not worked out.

Just before my marriage and being sure I have forgot the other person, I decided to give her a call, I haven't seen her for very long, and there was the disaster, I was shacking when I saw her and there was chemistry there. We did not had sex or any of that cause I did not want to cheat to my wife.

I saw here 3 times before the wedding and she was telling me why you are doing this since you are not ready. I deceided to tell everyone that I am not ready and all hell broke, therefore I did not want to make a quick move and we got married.

Wen we came back, my wife asked me if I saw her ( she knew I did) and I admitted it (hell #2)

Now it has being a year and I cannot get the other person from my heart and at the same time I don't want to hurt my wife, but she feels it. I don't know what to do and it's driving me crazy.

I am an asswhole!

[stupidlovergirl]

I still ove my ex too.

I knew it when I married my husband 5 years ago. Mostly I am okay. Not at the moment.
We have 2 children.
My ex called me. I was kind of okay, well - dealing with it. I was really okay, and when he first contacted me I said no. We only met for a drink.

It is not like my life is unhappy... not at all. I really have a great life. I just don't feel really up. Or down.
I am neutral.
I see my ex and realise how I should feel.
My husband has done nothing wrong. Nothing. He loves me so much. He is perfect.
My ex is... non comittal, and then wants me too.

I am a mess. I can't go through this again. It has been going on 10 years. This can't be love can it? I have businesses, I have none to talk to because now my best friend has business comitments with my husband and we all go away together.

He can't love me. He has had every opportunity. When I was engaged I went to him. Pregnant - went to him. Married - went to him. Not sexually. I have not slept with him for many years.

But a kiss nearly killed me. Every cliché.

I don't know what to do. I am about to write off an amazing life...

And I don't know if I can stop myself. I am usually very strong.



Help.

[fredg]

Hi,
To make this short; see a professional about your love for your ex; maybe talk with a counselor, or take your wife with you to family counseling; or both of you go to a marriage counselor.
If you don't, and IF you can't get this other person out of your mind, your marriage doesn't have long to live!
By admitting to yourself and your wife that you have a problem, and will both see a marriage counselor, means that you will have taken the first step to save you marriage.
Best wishes,
fredg

[hidden123]

I think you have to be honest with your wife... Even though it's hard. Tell her how you feel and let her make the decision.. If she really loves you - it will hurt her a lot... but you being in love with someone else - is a constant deception in marriage. Be prepared though - you may lose your wife..