[jagermeister]

A while back my mother-in-law wracked up a large credit card bill that my wife's sister wanted to, for whatever reasons, guilt my wife into paying. Mother-in-law fibbed a bit on the total amount and basically to get my wife to pay, the sister told her to pay whatever the bill is and that she'd pay everything over $5,000.

Well, turns out the bill was $5,600. So, my wife ended up paying it and when she went to ask for the $600 from her sister, her sister refused.

My wife has since asked for the $600 several times and sister has started responding by saying, "well you owe me $200 because I let you borrow my wedding dress and you owe me $300 because I let you borrow my baptismal gown three times for your kids, and that time I took your daughter out to lunch while you took care of business for an hour, you owe me $100 for babysitting, so we're even". These "charges" had never been discussed at any of these events (if they had been we would have told her sister to stick it) and were only brought up to justify not paying the $600.

My wife is tired of this nonsense and it's not so much about the money but the principle of the whole thing.

Is the $600 something we could go to small claims court to try to receive?

In addition to this, although mother-in-law has always said she would pay my wife back, my wife has found out that mother-in-law has no intentions of paying her back and in fact is planning on leaving most of her small inheritance to the sister. My wife has started contemplating if she could go to small claims court to get her $5,000 back. Is this something for small claims court?

Thanks for any help.

[Alty]

Small claims has a limit for how much you can sue. It's different in every State (assuming you're in the US). You'll have to check what the limit is where you live.

Yes, you can sue, but the burden of proving this will be on you, as you're the one that's suing. So, can you prove that the sister promised to pay anything over $5000. Do you have anything in writing? Can you prove that the MIL was going to pay your wife back the $5000? Anything in writing?

Cases where it's just a verbal agreement, are very hard to prove. It's your word against theirs.

Good luck.

[ScottGem]

Anyone can sue over anything. There are two other questions a) Can you win and b) can you collect.

Winning a judgment against the mother in law may be easier if you can prove your wife paid her bill. But the mother in law can just claim it was a gift and there was no agreement to repay. Without proof of that it will be iffy to win. With the sister, unless there is proof of an agreement the odds are even higher against winning.

But even if you do win, can you collect? Does either have jobs where you can garnish a salary or assets you can attach (like a bank account)? Once a judgment is awarded the loser doesn't just write a check. The winner has to find assets, present proof of the assets to the court, get a writ of execution issued and legally serve that writ on the holder of the assets to collect.

[joypulv]

Small claims can bring in personal elements when it's family v family. I have a feeling that the $5,600 is somehow tied to a family event, trip, or major item, despite it going on MIL's card? Often the judge will listen to just so much (a few minutes!) and then rule on a somewhat arbitrary division of the award or throw it all out without any promissory notes in writing.

[jagermeister]

Thanks for the responses. No, there is no written agreement. I believe the sister said what she said to "grease the wheels" so to speak to get my wife to pay. Oh, and why have my wife pay? Sister needs to be the prettiest, the most successful, the richest, the best, infallible, etc. So getting my wife to pay puts sister 'ahead of the game' financially in her mind.

The family dynamics is extreme favoritism between mil and the sister, leaving my wife 'out on the curb' so to speak. Mil and sister can do no wrong, viciously attack anyone who does not do what they want or think they should do, and feel that everyone is jealous of them and what they have. They have a strong sense of entitlement. My wife has hit the breaking point and I think she wants to go to court so an impartial judge can tell mil and sister, 'you made this agreement now you must honor it.' My wife feels that in a courtroom her family will tell the truth. I feel that they severely bend the truth to fit their needs and then believe it to be the truth.

The $5,600 wasn't tied to a family event. Mil quit her job (she realized she was too good to work), got on government assistance (food stamps) and charged up the bill by shopping and eating out. Sister has a high paying engineering job. So for her it isn't about the money but more about being able to bully my wife (and whoever) around to do what she thinks should be done. My wife wants to let her know she can't do this without consequences, the consequence being honoring her verbal agreement and thusly going to court to have a judge tell her so.

Anyway, I don't mean to turn this into a therapy session! Lol So it sounds like, since there is nothing in writing, it will be my wife's word against her family's so that's something she'll have to take into consideration.

Thanks again.

[Alty]

Realize that you will also have to pay to have your case heard in small claims. There is a fee. If you win, the judge may award those fees on top of the claim, but if you lose you'll be out the $5600 and the court costs, and like I said, I don't see how you'd win.

I can understand how frustrating this is, I'm in a somewhat similar situation, but my case cannot go to small claims, I'd have to hire a lawyer and risk losing even more money. I do have in writing that this money is owed to me, but there are other legal factors that make it a bit cloudy, so I haven't risked losing even more money than I'm already out.

It's really up to you. You have the freedom to sue, but be prepared to lose based on what you have (which is nothing) showing that they agreed to repay you. Considering the family dynamic, it may be best to chalk this up to a learning experience. Next time the MIL or sister come crying for money, close the door, or hang up the phone, or at the very least, if your wife feels she has to help, get a promissory note detailing that it's a loan, not a gift, have it signed, and have two independent witnesses sign as well. But before you do that, think to yourself "can they pay this money back? Is it reasonable that they will be able to return this money to me?" Like Scott said, even if you did win this case, how would the MIL pay back the $5000 when she's on food stamps and public assistance?