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    T22tu's Avatar
    T22tu Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
    		  
    #1

    Jun 11, 2013, 12:01 PM
    So confused?
    I am 26 and I broke up with my ex boyfriend almost a year ago, he was my first love. It's been 1 year since we broke up. He told me he has moved on which I respected. I am so confused because we always fight even when we're not dating.

    Recently he started dating 1 of his ex girlfriends (by the way he is friends with all his exes on Facebook except me) it hurt me but I accepted the whole thing since I want to move too. But am so confused because he always fights with me, he doesn't want to be friends with on Facebook, and his girlfriend is now sending me friend request on Facebook (she is not my friend and I don't know her).

    Why doesn't he want to be friends with on Facebook when he is friends with all his exes? Why did she send me the friend request and why do we always fight?
    Oliver2011's Avatar
    Oliver2011 Posts: 2,606, Reputation: 746
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    #2

    Jun 11, 2013, 12:15 PM
    "we always fight even when we r not dating."

    Read your quote 10 times and ask yourself how much sense does that make. There is no more commitment, no more future, no more investment - then WHY would you want him still in your life causing drama?

    You are allowing him to maintain control over your life because you are not moving your life forward. It is time to let go. It has been a year and that is way too long. You have a choice to make. Keep him in your life and allow him to maintain that control which causes you drama. Or cut him loose and get on with your life.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
    current pert
    		  
    #3

    Jun 11, 2013, 12:21 PM
    1. Some people send requests to everyone on FB just because they pop up as 'people you may know.' They don't care who they know or not; they like high numbers of friends.
    2. He probably can't be friends with an ex (you) with whom he is still fighting.
    3. Asking total strangers why you fight is a sign of being very naïve. YOU tell US why you have anything to do with him, just for starters! I agree that it makes no sense to have contact, much less fight. So how could we possibly have a clue?
    odinn7's Avatar
    odinn7 Posts: 7,691, Reputation: 1547
    Entomology Expert
    		  
    #4

    Jun 11, 2013, 01:18 PM
    Why are you allowing him this much control over your life and you're not even dating?
    You broke up with him so it's kind of silly that you allow things like this to bother you so much. Why do you care if you're friends with him on Facebook? Does that really matter in your life? It shouldn't. His girlfriend wanting to add you should also be a simple "ignore" and be done with it.

    Save yourself... just move on and stop letting this petty nonsense rule your life. You're not with him... don't fight with him. Don't care what he does. Don't wonder why he does or doesn't do things. Just let it go.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #5

    Jun 11, 2013, 04:17 PM
    Stop allowing him and her access to you and get them both out of your life. Get OFF his Facebook forever, and block her. She just wants to be able to see what you are doing and poke you in the eye online.

    STRICT NO CONTACT!!
    T22tu's Avatar
    T22tu Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
    		  
    #6

    Jun 13, 2013, 09:52 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    Stop allowing him and her access to you and get them both out of your life. Get OFF his Facebook forever, and block her. She just wants to be able to see what you are doing and poke you in the eye online.

    STRICT NO CONTACT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    I have blocked them from my Facebook account and cut any form of contact I had with him. Surprising it feels great.. I should have done that a long time ago. Thank you very much. I feel free.

    Quote Originally Posted by odinn7 View Post
    Why are you allowing him this much control over your life and you're not even dating?
    You broke up with him so it's kind of silly that you allow things like this to bother you so much. Why do you care if you're friends with him on Facebook? Does that really matter in your life? It shouldn't. His girlfriend wanting to add you should also be a simple "ignore" and be done with it.

    Save yourself...just move on and stop letting this petty nonsense rule your life. You're not with him....don't fight with him. Don't care what he does. Don't wonder why he does or doesn't do things. Just let it go.
    I was so scared of moving on because I kept thinking "what if". He was my first love and I believed so deeply that he and me were meant to be together forever so when I broke up with him it was so hard to move on that I let him control my life.. I guess I just needed someone to tell me it's OK to let go and move on.
    Oliver2011's Avatar
    Oliver2011 Posts: 2,606, Reputation: 746
    Ultra Member
    		  
    #7

    Jun 13, 2013, 10:08 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by T22tu View Post
    I was so scared of moving on coz I kept thinking "what if". He was my first love and I believed so deeply that he and me were ment to be together forever so when I broke up with him it was so hard to move on that I let him control my life.. I guess I just needed someone to tell me it's ok to let go and move on.
    The next time you are scared to move from someone or something, ask yourself "Is this really the life that I want."
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