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de88ie_9irl · Mar 28, 2007, 06:34 AM

Hey Guys, thanks for opening :)

I was with my ex for over two years. Whilst we had a very strong connection, we also had strong differences about certain things; he was extremely money focused, he never wanted to talk about his feelings, we didn't have much in common, and I wasn't very physically attracted to him. We didn't always get along, but through it all we had a very solid and serious relationship - we had planned on moving in together, had looked at houses together and the like. We loved each other very much, and despite it all we got along very well, we were cosy together. And I thought those were the things that mattered.. and after all, looks fade anyway, right?
Recently, I had been having doubts about my career, and realized that I might have to return to do further education in a different field, in order to work somewhere I really enjoyed. However, my partner at the time was very focused on himself, and told me that he wouldn't wait around for me to choose something else to do- he was ready to move out with a girl who had a full time job and start a life with her- he didn't want a part time relationship anymore. I ended the relationship because he couldn't support me through this time, which I thought was quite justified.
It hurt a lot, because I still loved him very much, as I'm sure did he; but we both wanted different things.
Lately we've been talking online casually; I can tell he misses me because he's throwing himself into his work, buying many luxurious items that he was once extremely tight-waddish about, and trying to be out of the house most nights, because "what else am I going to do with my time?" he says. Currently he's still living where he is, with no immediate plans to move out anyway. So he is pretty much in the same position now as he would be if he had have supported me.
I miss what we used to have, and so much of the time I want to meet up with him, lay it on the line.. get everything out there and try to come to an agreement with him about it all and we can get back together.
Lately I've been seeing someone else.. he's a great guy; genuine, sweet and funny, sensitive and caring, and very in tune with his emotions. We have a LOT in common and we were good friends beforehand. These were the things I was attracted to, that I was lacking with my ex. But on the flip-side, he is quite younger and I can tell is quite less mature in his everyday approach to life than my ex, which bothers me in a lot of ways that everday life produces. Also, every time there is a situation that my ex had dealt with in one way, this new guy does completely differently. And straight away a buzzer flashes in my head "I miss my ex, he always did things THIS way which made me feel great. The way this guy does things.. eh I don't like so much at all".
I don't know whether to stick it out with the new guy, go back to my ex, or try and make the very hard step of moving on from both. I know nobody's perfect, both are missing some qualities but make up for it in other areas. I shouldn't wait around for prince charming to appear because he might not, right?
I don't know guys, what do you think?
p.s. I don't know whether my ex is playing mind games with me.. there were things that I wanted him to do with me that he strongly refused to do.. that he's now doing. Once tight, he's now spending money left, right and center.. and telling me about everything he's bought. (e.g. trips overseas that I wanted to do, new car etc). Why would he be rubbing it in my face? To win me back do you think, or more for resentment purposes: "look what you gave up on, look how well I'm doing now" type of thing.. I don't know.. :S
Thanks for reading, I really appreciate it :)

de88ie_9irl · Mar 30, 2007, 08:59 PM

Hey guys- I've had 21 of you read my speil, but none of you have written something. Could someone please help, even if it's just a couple of lines? Thanks

vlee · Mar 30, 2007, 10:54 PM

It's hard to say... maybe he isn't rubbing it in your face or doing it out of resentment, but rather to show you he has changed? Maybe he thinks if he does this stuff you will tell him you want to be with him. It could be his way of trying to get you to initiate a reconciliation. But since I don't know him at all, I can't be sure. Do you think that is possible?