[daniella park]

We were together since third year college. I believe we are both happy with the relationship even if our last three years were long distance. However we manage to talk everyday thanks to modern technology.

[talaniman]

Why does he have to propose? What's the agreement between you for the future?

[daniella park]

Okay, we have been together since third year college. I believe we are both happy and still in love until now. I do love him so much that I am willing to sacrifice almost everything to be with him. Our last 3 years are even long distance however thanks to modern technology we manage to talk and see each other everyday. What was bothering me why does he says he wanted to get marry 2 years from now. But that's what he even said last year but he doesn't give formal proposal yet. Just verbal and only to me.. Not even to friends or family as far asi know. Well, I do understand he has to work for his family since he is currently the breadwinner but its been 3 years! He could have at least plans of settling down with me. Well he plans to buy a house for us but why house first not marriage? Does he plan for a live in? Which I clearly oppose. What also pisses me off is when asked by friends when will he be next in line he would say soon when all of his friends are married. (doesn't even sound a joke to me). I asked him this issue several time but he asked me to please wait patiently but why if asked by friends he would boast out like that. Why could't he boast out that soon he will marry me as proud as he is. My plan is give him another year if he still doesn't give a ring I would end it. Do you think 8 yrs is enough? And ill just give up on him and start a new life and create a new dream? It would be truly heart breaking for me but I need to give myself achance. I plan to discuss this to him (without the1 more year chance) when he has his vacation the following month and if I still can't see a sign. I know I need. To move on. Please advice guys. Thanks :-)

[Wondergirl]

My plan is give him another year if he still doesn't give a ring I would end it.

I would give him three months (or less) to make a formal and public commitment. Otherwise, I would be gone from his life, having been patient so very long.

[Alty]

How old are both of you?

[daniella park]

I would give him three months (or less) to make a formal and public commitment. Otherwise, I would be gone from his life, having been patient so very long.

Indeed, I have been patient for several years still I am willing to wait until next year. I love him so much.

How old are both of you?

We are both 26 this year.

[Wondergirl]

Indeed, I have been patient for severeal years still I am willing to wait until next year. I love him so much.

And when he says after another year, "Just give me a little bit more time," then what?

[Jake2008]

If part of the development of the relationship, has included the eventual result of marriage, then the time for an answer is now.

That he has not made a firm commitment even toward discussing a date, or an official engagement, gives little hope that it will ever happen in my opinion.

That he puts this off and doesn't take your needs seriously, also doesn't bode well for this relationship to end up with marriage.

Maybe the long distance part of the relationship is just too hard, and he has simply drifted away, and marriage seems unlikely to him. And if that is the case, he should at least tell you, so you don't waste any more of your time.

My advice is to set a time limit as Wondergirl suggested, and stick with it. It is better to know the truth in three months, than to continue to wait another 12 months, and still likely not have an answer.

[daniella park]

And when he says after another year, "Just give me a little bit more time," then what?

I guess it ends there. Just 1 more year and if he doen't even propose I know it has to be sto

[Wondergirl]

I guess it ends there. Just 1 more year and if he doen't even propose I know it has to be sto

It has been so many years already. Why oh why would you give him yet another whole year?

Does he love YOU? Why won't he commit?

[Cat1864]

Frankly, from trying to read your post, I am bit confused. You have been together for eight years. The last three have been long distance. He proposed a year ago and gave a 'two years' time limit'. You are ranting about him not proposing and making wedding plans for the past three years. Is all that correct?

You say that the relationship is long distance and he is currently the 'bread winner' for his family. What else is going on in his life?

He wants to buy a house. You seem to be asking us why and what he wants instead of asking him. Is he trying to get set up to where he can make the 'verbal' proposal more 'formal'?

It sounds like he asked you to marry him last year. It just wasn't the proposal you seem to have wanted. He said then that he wanted to marry in two years time, if you agreed to that then he still has a year left. When you have asked him about making a public declaration and he says 'be patient', have you asked why? Does he have reasons? Is he trying to convince his family that you would be a good wife and partner for him?

If you are so concerned about a ring, why don't you give him one and make a 'formal' proposal to him?

I understand your feelings, but I also think you are all over the place. Have you thought ahead to where you would be living if you marry him? What plans have you started working on for relocating? Would you need to find a job in his location or do you plan to be a housewife?

Proposals and weddings are fleeting moments in lifetime together. They aren't an end but a beginning. Are you focusing on the proposal as a goal or a stepping stone? Ask him if he is focusing on the present (the proposal) or the future (your life together). Depending on what he says, see if you can work together to find a compromise.

Let him know you want to work with him in making plans so you can give him help and support as a life partner should and would. It is a part of communicating and being a couple. If he shuts you out then you may have a better idea of what marriage to him will be like.

[daniella park]

This year is our seventh year together. The last 3 years are via long distance. He visits me 2-3x a year but communicates everyday without fail. I was known by his family and friends as his long term girlfriend. Everyday he tells me that he loves and misses me so much and is so excited for his coming vacation.

He sends money for his brother in college and supports his sick father. He plans to give his family a small business before he settles down for them to become stable.

He tells everything to me and I know him very well. He is a good provider, planner and a practical person. He said he wanted to buy us a house maybe late this year or early next year for us to settle down soon in 2 years as he would go back in our country and work with me as we wait and plan to migrate to canada. He even said he wanted to have a kid before we migrate soon. We started canvassing our dream house early this year. I remember he used to say he'll be busy saving money but I'll have to take charge of wedding preps soon.

But what confuses me is that he never announces at least half of this plan to public. To friends or family. (as far as I know)He just says it to me. That makes it weird. The last time I push this question about public proposal he simply said don't spoil my plan and grins.

It has been so many years already. Why oh why would you give him yet another whole year?

Does he love YOU? Why won't he commit?

I am positive he loves me cause he tells it every day and I can feel it. But by being committed, I don't know when he'll be ready.