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pauri5 · Jun 8, 2013, 04:18 PM

So I'm 17 and this year I got to go in the same class as this guy. He's really smart and handsome and I really like him, and I think he might be gay too.

I've only told about my sexuality to my closest friends, but everyone kind of thinks I'm gay, so I think he knows about it. I've talked with him a few times and he's really nice and laughs to my jokes (he sits behind me in class so we always get together in group activities), but he won't talk much to me when his friends are around. The other day we were all gathered in the our teacher's table to see our marks, and he got behind me, a bit to the left and I slowly approached him. To me surprise he did too (our bodies were touching and I could sense his breathing), and even we had already seen our marks we stayed there until the teacher came and took away his notebook.

Oh, and I know from her ex-girlfriend (the only one she has had), who's a friend of mine that the first time they had sex he didn't had an erection (and it's not like she didn't try... ). I didn't ask if he ever did have one though... And to end up, the same girl (who told me time ago she was bi-curious) published on his wall a picture with two guys kissing and where it put "Being bi or gay is not bad, it's just another way of viewing sexuality".

There are too many hints of him being bi/gay, although all of his friends are guys and he loves sports and everything (I don't think every gay has to follow the same stereotype, I don't do it myself). What should I do? I don't have enough confidence to ask him directly, and I could get hurt that way or he could just lie about it, but I really want to know.

talaniman · Jun 8, 2013, 04:51 PM

You should get the courage and face your fear of hurt and rejection. It's a risk you take when you what to know someone on many levels. No risk, no gain.

pauri5 · Jun 9, 2013, 10:27 AM

First, thank you so much for answering.

I know, I tried to ask him, but what if he decides to make fun of me with his friends? I don't think he is like that and if he was then he's definitely not the guy I'd want to be in a relationship with, but I don't know him enough to be sure... I could win a lot by taking the risk, but things could get so bad too.
I've talked to the friends who know about me being gay about him, and most of them said that they sometime wondered about him being gay too, but I don't want to pressure him neither by asking him... But my guts tell me that he's gay. He may be curious about me and is confused about his feelings, or maybe I'm making false hopes...
Again, thanks for answering talaniman.

talaniman · Jun 9, 2013, 10:37 AM

Then you need to find out more about him beyond your feelings. Why just rush in with feelings and not get the facts about him first. You might not like the real guy he is and he may not be who you thought he was.

Focus on the mental connection and not just the physical one with your intense feelings distracting you.

pauri5 · Jun 9, 2013, 12:34 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

Then you need to find out more about him beyond your feelings. Why just rush in with feelings and not get the facts about him first. You might not like the real guy he is and he may not not be who you thought he was.

Focus on the mental connection and not just the physical one with your intense feelings distracting you.

You're so right I think I'm just rushing in because he's the first guy I have a heavy crush on (and who I think I might interest) and I'm having new feelings. I should take it easy and see how things develop (it'll be hard... ). I'll try to get to know him more during the summer as we have many friends in common and we tend to coincide in parties and such, and see if he's the guy who I think he is. I'll also try to talk with her ex and ask her why did they break up or things about their relationship.

Thank you for your time, you helped me a lot.