[Heltonp]

I am a 15-year-old gay teen who cuts himself. I cut my right shoulder when I have no other way to ignore the pain inside. You see, I'm in love with another teen who is secretly bi. He SAYS that he has a crush on me, but I think he just likes me because we sext. Some of my friends cut and think I should get help. There are TONS of things bothering me now, what should I do??

[joypulv]

You plan what you will say to her. Write it down. Tell her you need therapy, and ask if there is family insurance to cover it. If not, ask if she can help you find a free or sliding scale clinic. If she can't or won't, ask the school nurse. (Is school out yet?)
You ask to talk sometime when she isn't busy, such as an hour after dinner. Turn off the TV and ask any siblings to go outside, or ask your mom to go with you to your room.
If you start with the need for therapy, you can cut the details short. If she gets all upset, ask if she wants to talk again the following evening.
If she doesn't know that you are gay, it's a good time to tell her.
Cutting yourself over love makes no sense --- right?? You are punishing yourself because you aren't getting the love you want? 99% of us get rejected at times in our lives, and yes, the pain FEELS unbearable, and we want to die, and elephants are sitting on our chests.
Life is ALL ABOUT not getting what you want, half the time. A therapist can help you find out why you can't deal with that basic fact. Love hurts. Love stinks. You know all the songs about love. Yet we love because when it IS good, it's wonderful. It just means having lots of friends and contacts until you finally get to that day when you find someone.

[Alty]

Cutting is very popular among teens nowadays. You're in no way alone in this. It's a very serious issue, and needs to be directed properly.

You need to tell your mom about this, and she needs to get you the mental help (with therapy, or a psychiatrist) to help you deal with the issues that are leading you to cut.

Does mom know you're gay?

[Oliver2011]

From one gay guy to another gay guy - let me add to the discussion.

When you talk about yourself as a gay guy, please remember that being gay is only a small part of who you are. There are so many other good attributes you have. So don't limit yourself as being only gay and don't allow others to limit you either.

As a teenager you are learning about relationships - how to get into one, how to maintain one, how to get out of one, etc. All of your relationships will not be perfect. It takes a long time to learn how to have a good relationship. But that is life and life is a journey. I dated my partner 2.5 years before I decided to be exclusive just to him. And I am glad I did it that way. I knew him better than I've ever known anyone and it is paying off. So take the time to get to know someone before jumping into a relationship with someone.

I don't know much about hurting yourself. I do know it is important to be able to see and appreciate the simple things in life. Learn how to live in the moment and you will appreciate the day to day simple things. You won't always be in a relationship but that is okay. You won't always be in the perfect relationship and that is okay too.

I wish you all the best.

[Fr_Chuck]

And be careful sexting, you do not want everything you say or do, posted all over Facebook or tiwitter if it gets out, or if there is problems latter.


But perhaps talk to the school counselor, who will help you talk to parents

[Aurora_Bell]

Telling your parents that you need help can be one of the hardest things to do. Does anyone else know you cut? Maybe you could start with a guidance councillor, or do you have a friend you could bounce ideas off?

I find the best way to do anything is to sit down in a relaxed environment, and just start talking. Tell her that you're hurting, and tell her why. Most parents are pretty understanding to their children's pain and want to help.

At first your mom might seem angry, but she's not angry with you, she's angry about the idea of you hurting yourself. Just be honest and to the point. The rest will come naturally.

[Heltonp]

First, to those who answered my last question,thanks for the advice.

Since I last posted my last question, I've managed to keep my spirits up and haven't cut myself in several weeks. Unfortunately, I still haven't told my Mom about my cutting problem. So, in the mean time, I'm looking for some alternate stress relief methods.

Any ideas would be helpful.

[talaniman]

Relaxation Techniques for Stress Relief: Finding the Relaxation Exercises that Work for You

Tips for Managing Stress

Tips for Reducing Stress

People can learn to manage stress and lead happier, healthier lives. Here are some tips to help you keep stress at bay:
Keep a positive attitude.
Accept that there are events that you cannot control.
Be assertive instead of aggressive. Assert your feelings, opinions, or beliefs instead of becoming angry, defensive, or passive.
Learn and practice relaxation techniques; try meditation, yoga, or tai-chi.
Exercise regularly. Your body can fight stress better when it is fit.
Eat healthy, well-balanced meals.
Learn to manage your time more effectively.
Set limits appropriately and say no to requests that would create excessive stress in your life.
Make time for hobbies and interests.
Get enough rest and sleep. Your body needs time to recover from stressful events.
Don't rely on alcohol, drugs, or food to reduce stress. Ease up on caffeine, too.
Seek out social support. Spend enough time with those you love.
Seek treatment with a psychologist or other mental health professional trained in stress management or biofeedback techniques to learn more healthy ways of dealing with the stress in your life.

Most problems are not solved alone, and support and love have to be a part of the equation.