[kmendoza9]

My boyfriend of almost 4 years left me over a month and half ago... we just recently bought a house at end of June and had a baby girl in April! Everything was so good I thought we were so happy well he got a new job and out of nowhere he needed space and time and said I never let him do anything and I smother him that he was unhappy... I just seen him with another girl I think he left me for this girl... he is so much drama he tells me he isn't with anyone but then is and then he says he knows I still love him and tries to text and call but I don't answer him I let him see our daughter and that's all... will he regret everything he has done to me?

[fleshtone]

How old is he?

[kmendoza9]

He is 23 years old and I am 22 years old

[redhed35]

I under stand that your in a vunerable position and your heartbroken and confused.

But you need to make some plans for yourself and your baby.

First step is a court order for child support.

[kmendoza9]

How do I go about doing that?

[fleshtone]

Not in his defense because I am a female. But, he is young like you and need a lot of time to mature. There is no excuse for his behavior. But, a lot of times young men tend to think that having a baby is too stressful. So, to lighten the pressure they tend to seek other activities such as seeking another female.The other female is the outlet to skip out on their responsibility of being a new father. He wants to sow his oats. In other words, He is going to seek other females.

[kmendoza9]

Thanks... I just hate all the pain I am in especially because he wanted a baby so badly and then I have his baby and we buy a house together then out of nowhere he needs time and space! Its just not fair to me!

[Homegirl 50]

Make sure he pays child support and then you let him see the child but don't let him use you as a side piece.
If he wants to come back he needs to prove he is ready and wanting to commit to you. Otherwise, he has a child to support.

[Fr_Chuck]

He may or he may be perfectly happy in his new direction. To be honest how he feels really does not matter. You need to file for legal custody of child, set up court visitation and start getting proper child support.

[talaniman]

kmendoza9 : Thanks... I just hate all the pain I am in especially because he wanted a baby so badly and then I have his baby and we buy a house together then out of nowhere he needs time and space! Its just not fair to me!

Yes it hurts, but he has what he wants, and now wants something else, but he has you, and the child, and whatever else he can get, so make sure he takes very good care of this child, and as much as it hurts, don't count on him taking care of you. That's not fair to you either.

[dgallant]

I am going through the same thing almost exactly. We were together for 5 years new baby I am 26 he 28. He is disrespecting me and treating me like crap. Honestly you do not ant or need a man like that because he is not a real man. Do not make excuses for him. It hurts like hell. I think about mine every day. He blames me for the break up. Tells people I left him etc. Try to focus your energy on other things. Work on yourself. I know it is hard with the new baby alone reach out to other people. Try to find support group. Seek therapy or counseling if you need it. Another thing if you stop contacting him he will start calling you. Do not fall into he trap. He knows he has a child be you. Pkay hard ball. Let him know that no man can walk out of your life and expect to walk back in without proving himself. I f he did it once he will do it again. You are not a second option and neither is your child. Make yourself independent. All of this is easier said then done. I am living this everyday. I wake up everyday thinking of him and see him I my shild. I have nights when I just need a break but I will get better and you have a wonderful baby who need you to be a strong mom.

[Homegirl 50]

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