[OKskater]

Hi. So, I'm 17 and I want to move in with my 27 year old boyfriend. I'll only be a few months short of 18 by the time we actually move. We've been together since September. We are completely in love. We live in Canada, and the law states that under federal law you must be 16 to legally move out without parental consent. However, it also says that some regions may have a higher age restriction. I currently live in British Columbia, but we're moving to Newfoundland. Does anyone know the law in Newfoundland?

I might have a really good job as a figure skating coach, which would be the only reason to move there. But my parents are dead set against me going, even without knowing he's going with me. But I want to travel and see the country/world before I get stuck somewhere. I also fear that if I don't take it, I'll seriously regret it later in life.

Does anyone have any tips? How do I tell my parents? How do I do this?

[Homegirl 50]

What indication do you have that at 17 you're going to get a good job as a skating coach? At 27 this guy is IMO too old for you and I'm wondering of he is putting all this in your head. What makes you think you are going to travel and see the world with him?
If you are not sure and woman enough to be honest with your parents about this and if he is not man enough to be honest with them, you should not do this.

[J_9]

This man is a sick pervert to prey on a 17 year old child. He is grooming you, but you don't see that because you are so excited to be attractive to an older man.

This man is 27, 10 years older than you, and should have nothing in common with you at all. Don't tell me you are mature. If I had a penny for every time I heard that, I'd be a millionaire. I've raised 3 children and know what maturity is for 17 year olds. Even the most mature 17 year old.

At 17 you are most likely graduating high school and starting university. At 27, this pervert should already have his career in full swing.

Unless this pervert is mentally disabled, he is not right for you. Ask your Dad if he approves of a relationship of this kind before you consider moving.

[OKskater]

What indication do you have that at 17 you're going to get a good job as a skating coach? At 27 this guy is IMO too old for you and I'm wondering of he is putting all this in your head. What makes you think you are going to travel and see the world with him?
If you are not sure and woman enough to be honest with your parents about this and if he is not man enough to be honest with them, you should not do this.

Well, lets see... I've completed all requirements to be a coach. I am a fully certified coach and registered with Skate Canada. I was offered the job... it's just a matter of signing the contract, after I decide it's 100% what I want. Just moving there will give me an opportunity to travel. It'll give me a chance to try something new; something exciting. To see new places and have new experiences.

It's not his responsibility to tell my parents about it. That's mine. I will do it, I'm not going to just run away. I just want some pointers on how to approach them.

[odinn7]

I just want some pointers on how to approach them.

How about "Mom, Dad....I'm moving in with a perv but it will all work out. Wish me luck!"

[Homegirl 50]

No 27 year old man in his right mind who is decent is going to run away with a 17 year old. Do your parents know about him? If this 27 year old man wants to take you away from your family and he is decent he will feel the obligation to talk to your parents. That is what a man with honorable intentions do.

[J_9]

I just asked my son, who is 27, married, with 2 children, if he would ever date a 17 year old. His words to me were...

"Mom, that's just sick, sick, sick!! As a police officer I know that he is grooming this child for something similar to pornography and/or prostitution. Particularly if that so-called man is asking this child to move away from the parents. Thus, he has complete and total control over her."

That came from a 27 year old police officer. My son.

[OKskater]

This man is a sick pervert to prey on a 17 year old child. He is grooming you, but you don't see that because you are so excited to be attractive to an older man.

This man is 27, 10 years older than you, and should have nothing in common with you at all. Don't tell me you are mature. If I had a penny for every time I heard that, I'd be a millionaire. I've raised 3 children and know what maturity is for 17 year olds. Even the most mature 17 year old.

At 17 you are most likely graduating high school and starting university. At 27, this pervert should already have his career in full swing.

Unless this pervert is mentally disabled, he is not right for you. Ask your Dad if he approves of a relationship of this kind before you consider moving.

I used to think the same way. I always thought it was gross too. But now that I'm in the situation, it feels different. I honestly always forget that he's older. It just feels natural. When we're together, it feels like we're the only people in the world. I know it sounds like something everyone says, but I truly mean it. I also find it funny that if I was 18, it would be a completely different story.

He has one year left in a Masters of Biology degree, and I'm graduating from High School this year. Being a figure skating coach, we'll both have a career in the near future.

I'm not here for lectures about our relationship. I'm simply asking for tips about telling my parents I'm moving...

[Homegirl 50]

I will not give you pointers on how to do this because I think it is a huge mistake and this man ought to be ashamed of himself. So you have no plans to attend University? Do your parents know about him? Tell them you are going away with a 27 year old man.

[J_9]

No, it wouldn't be different if you were 18. I wouldn't allow my 19 year old daughter to date a 27 year old, nor would her 27 year old police officer brother.

Of course you feel different being in the situation because these perverts are masters of manipulation. They KNOW how to get you to believe them and fall in love with them.

As far as telling your parents, how about. Hey, Dad! What do you think about me moving across the country with a pervert? I'm sure his response will be... "Sure honey, let me help you pack your bags!"

[J_9]

I'm simply asking for tips about telling my parents I'm moving...

It would be dangerous and irresponsible of us to advise you on how to move out of the house with a pervert.

[OKskater]

No, it wouldn't be different if you were 18. I wouldn't allow my 19 year old daughter to date a 27 year old, nor would her 27 year old police officer brother.

Of course you feel different being in the situation because these perverts are masters of manipulation. They KNOW how to get you to believe them and fall in love with them.

As far as telling your parents, how about. Hey, Dad! What do you think about me moving across the country with a pervert? I'm sure his response will be... "Sure honey, let me help you pack your bags!"

You wouldn't "let" your 19 year old daughter date a 27 year old? Wow, that's a sure way to piss her off so much she never talks to you again!

[J_9]

Nah, we have a very open relationship. We can talk, like you can't apparently, to your parents.

No, I would not allow a 27 year old pervert to groom her into prostitution and pornography.

Oh, yeah, and she's smart enough to not even consider it in the first place.

[Homegirl 50]

You wouldn't "let" your 19 year old daughter date a 27 year old?! Wow, that's a sure way to piss her off so much she never talks to you again!!

She would get over it. This man is not right. No decent man at that age has good intentions towards someone your age. I know I would have a fit if it were my daughter, I would certainly want to have a talk with this man.
So you have been seeing this pervert since you were around 16. Yep, he is grooming you. When you turn 18 he won't have much desire for you as you will be too old for his type.

[J_9]

OKskater, how did you meet this man? That's a very important question.

[Homegirl 50]

OKskater, how did you meet this man? That's a very important question.

A very important question. Where and how does a grown man pick up a 16/17 year old girl. Because that is what it seems like he did.

[OKskater]

OKskater, how did you meet this man? That's a very important question.

I've known him my whole life. Close family friend.

[Homegirl 50]

Does your family know you are seeing this man?

[J_9]

I'm sure that your family, nor his, would approve of this relationship.

[OKskater]

A very important question. Where and how does a grown man pick up a 16/17 year old girl. Because that is what it seems like he did.

FYI, we have NOT slept together yet and don't plan on it for a while. We've discussed it and both agree that we want to do other stuff first - hiking, camping, going to movies, etc.

I'm sure that your family, nor his, would approve of this relationship.

Actually, his family does. His Mom absolutely loves me! And some of my family knows, and they're okay with it. A few cousins are a bit worried, but overall, are okay with it.