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Jimmy78 · May 27, 2013, 02:19 AM

Every time I see my ex-girlfriend family members they always keep bringing her up like I really want to hear about her or the things that she is doing. Once in a blue moon I might see her aunt on the subway on my way home from work, the conversation starts of great but all of a sudden she ask me have I seen her or spoke to her lately or how she wants to invite me to a family function. Her father and mother always ask my mom where I'm at or how I am doing. The other day while cutting grass a car pulls up and its her father, we talked real quick but just like the aunt he had to bring her up telling me telling me how she lost some pounds and have I seen her lately. I told him “I haven't seen your daughter since I can't remember” and left it at that, they get on my last nerve with this crap. She told me (a long time friend from childhood from the same block) to distance myself from her and get out of her life because she had no more use for me and I have stayed my distance to this day. I just don't know why the just can't leave me alone about this loser chick who didn't want the good guy but breaks her neck for everyone else that uses her.

joypulv · May 27, 2013, 02:59 AM

Be more blunt next time. Tell them "PLEASE stop mentioning her. She dumped ME."
And walk away.
Ask your parents to see what they can do to discourage this too.
It's tough when you all live near each other.

Jake2008 · May 27, 2013, 07:37 AM

You may have to be a little more assertive here. I'm not sure that it will stop otherwise. They all need to know, in certain terms, that you do not wish to have any conversations about your ex- to anybody.

I'd start with your parents and tell them that when they call, and ask about you, and then talk about your ex, tell them to politely say they'll have to talk to you, it's none of their business. Just tell your parents you are trying to put a stop to this, and as long as they are making inquiries through them, that door will remain open.

Next, send an email to your ex. Politely ask her to please tell her family that you no longer want them to contact your parents, which puts them in an awkward spot, or you, about the relationship that has now become the past.

She may be either under the same pressure, or worse, from them, or, she may not be aware they are doing this at all.

Tell them that if they persist, you'll simply be forced to ignore them, in order to avoid their unwelcome comments about their daughter.

No doubt they will eventually stop. If they don't, just tell them you are in a serious relationship with another woman, and she is uncomfortable with the reminders of your past.

Fr_Chuck · May 27, 2013, 07:44 AM

Let me see, it is HER family, not yours, so I doubt they feel she is a "loser check" and if anything may think that of you. Perhaps they think you may want to know, or don't know what elese to talk about.

You just tell them, that you prefer not to discuss her

Jimmy78 · May 27, 2013, 09:09 AM

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

Let me see, it is HER family, not yours, so I doubt they feel she is a "loser check" and if anything may think that of you. Perhaps they think you may want to know, or don't know what elese to talk about.

You just tell them, that you prefer not to discuss her

In one breath her family will say she's the problem not me that I did nothing wrong because they know I was good to her but they keep trying to get me around her or try to get me to talk about her after years of walking away from her.