[laurenjohnson]

Me and my partner have been together about a year and a half now. When we first got together he lived in staff accommodation at his work. I would go up about 3/4 times a week and we would always have sex. We then moved in with each other and we were still very sexually active. We moved house again about two months ago but just before we moved, up until now, he has barely touched me. I have had sex 2 times in three months.

He said he had a hemorrhoid for a little while and that was the reason he didn't want it when I asked, but that was three months ago and other people have said that it didn't stop them having sex with their partners.

He is 21 and I am 19 so we are still young and should be enjoying each others company but it is really getting to me, and I don't know what to do, he is a chef and works extremely long hours about 15 hours a day and gets two days of a week and claims he is feeling tired but it never stopped him before (also the reason he can't cheat, he just wouldn't get the time).

Recently due to stress, I have been comfort eating and have put about 2 stone on and wonder if this could be the reason. Has anybody got any ideas about what I should do?

[teacherjenn4]

He works 15 hours a day as a chef. What do you while he is at work? Have you considered asking him these questions? You are quite young to be in such a serious relationship.

[laurenjohnson]

I aren't that young I am 20 in July. And I am at studying at university and work part time so I am usually busy when he is at work I have asked him but he usually dodges the question or changes the topic whenever I bring it up

[teacherjenn4]

You are very young to be in a relationship like this. If your weight bothers you, then take some time each day to work on yourself. I'm sure your university has a gym, or some type of exercise program available.

[talaniman]

When the lust fades and the reality of life sets in on couples, its time to reconnect the minds (if you can), and the bodies will follow. Lust fades, love grows.

Obsessing over the change in sex often distracts you from problems in other areas of the relationship. 15 hours a day, five days a week, he has to be tired and without the animal lust of the beginning of the relationship to sustain and fuel his libido he is dead meat. Try working 15 hours a day and see how YOU feel.

[laurenjohnson]

So what your trying to say is that you think it is down to his work then I know how it feels to work that long I do it every weekend its not the same as 5 days though, but what about his days of, we are only young and both fit and healthy and on his days of we spend our time together so do you think it is still the fact of his work?

[talaniman]

Work all week, entertain you on the weekends, even the most fit and healthy no matter the age can be mentally, emotionally, and physically draining. Add every evening too, you have the makings of a rut, when you throw in a sexually frustrated female in the mix.

At least give him his first off day for just him whatever he wants to do with you. And be grateful for now that he does so many other things just to please you in other areas of your relationship.

You just can't believe how fast a guy can be just run down.

[laurenjohnson]

Thank you that's helped.

[JudyKayTee]

" Lust fades, love grows."

Wow! Am passing this along to my stepdaughters.

[Britt9068]

Could be that he's cheating.

[smoothy]

Working 15 hours a day every day (even 5 days a week) is hell on a guy... not matter how young he is... its no wonder his libido is so low. And as a Chef... he really is working most if not all of that... its a fast paced high stress occupation..