What to do?

BECKYLOUISE · May 19, 2013, 09:34 AM

I've been talking to this guy online for 3 years and I've got feelings for him and he says he has for me and most of the time I do believe him. He wants me to send a 'dirty' picture and I don't know what to do? I don't want to because I think its wrong but I want to keep him happy and not loose him. Every time I ask him to meet all he says is he does too and that's it, nothing never happens. I don't know what to do send him a picture and probably regret it fir the rest of my life and don't and possibly loose him?

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JudyKayTee · May 19, 2013, 09:39 AM

You can't lose what you've never had - and I don't think you "have" him.

Why in the past 3 years haven't you met?

You know those pictures will come back and haunt you.

How old are you?
Do you have the funds to hire an investigator to see who this guy really is, check out his "game"?

odinn7 · May 19, 2013, 09:41 AM

No, don't send any dirty pictures. You will regret doing so.

Why can't he meet you after 3 years? He is hiding something... don't fall for this.

BECKYLOUISE · May 19, 2013, 09:42 AM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

You can't lose what you've never had - and I don't think you "have" him.

Why in the past 3 years haven't you met?

You know those pictures will come back and haunt you.

How old are you?
Do you have the funds to hire an investigator to see who this guy really is, check out his "game"?

Meeting him its always something that gets mentioned and that's it, nothing never happens about it. I'm 17.

BECKYLOUISE · May 25, 2013, 03:41 PM

Is a 9 year age gap 'wrong' when I'm only 17?

Wondergirl · May 25, 2013, 04:01 PM

The other person is 8?

odinn7 · May 25, 2013, 06:45 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

The other person is 8?

Nice!

Maybe the other person is 26... but you could be right.

Fr_Chuck · May 25, 2013, 07:19 PM

I guess someone has to ask about 8, that was the first thing that went though my mind.

At 17, assuming you mean the other person is 26, it is still up to your parents, since you are a minor.

I am 10 years older than my wife, and my best friend here in China is over 20 years older than his wife.

At 17, a 26 year old is really at a different place in their life, and I wonder what they see in a 17 year old "child" sorry but to a 26 year old, that is what they should see.

Normally the age gaps makes less difference in about 8 to 10 years when you are matured and more expierenced in life

talaniman · May 25, 2013, 07:30 PM

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/teens/what-do-749637.html

Same guy?

J_9 · May 25, 2013, 08:03 PM

So, you've known this pervert since you were 14 and he wanted you to send "dirty pictures" to him. Have I got that right?

You've never met him in person. Have I got that right?

If so, yes, this so called relationship is wrong on so many levels.

Lucky098 · May 25, 2013, 08:20 PM

I think if you look at it either way... someone is a pervert...

J_9 · May 25, 2013, 08:29 PM

I think if you look at it either way... someone is a pervert...

Exactly!

BECKYLOUISE · May 26, 2013, 04:38 AM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

The other person is 8?

No, he's 25, 26 this year

I am 17, I talk to a guy online who is 25, 26 the end of this year. We've been speaking for 3 years. I had just turned 14 when we startes talking. He's asked for 'dirty' picture (ive not sent any). I haven't met him. He lives 110ish miles away as he had to move further away because he got a new job. When we've said about meeting that's all that happens. People can say he's a 'peado' a 'pervert' and whatever, but I don't and can't see it like that, surly its just like a penpal? Maybe I am wrong because its me who talking to him. But please advice would be wonderful.

Originally Posted by Lucky098

I think if you look at it either way... someone is a pervert...

How? He's 25, its wrong because I'm still a "child"?

Cat1864 · May 26, 2013, 05:59 AM

Originally Posted by BECKYLOUISE

I am 17, I talk to a guy online who is 25, 26 the end of this year. We've been speaking for 3 years. I had just turned 14 when we startes talking. He's asked for 'dirty' picture (ive not sent any). I haven't met him. He lives 110ish miles away as he had to move further away because he got a new job. When we've said about meeting that's all that happens. People can say he's a 'peado' a 'pervert' and whatever, but I don't and can't see it like that, surly its just like a penpal? Maybe I am wrong because its me who talking to him. But please advice would be wonderful.

Becky, what do you call a grown man who wants 'dirty' pictures of an adolescent? He does know how old you are, doesn't he? You know the pictures would be 'wrong' and you know why.

How far have your 'talks' with him gone? Do you discuss the weather or has he started talking about sex acts?

Has he asked for any non-dirty pictures?

How do you know this man is only 25 if you haven't met him? He could any age. He could be female and posing as a male.

You sound like a young female who has been manipulated (groomed) into thinking of this person as 'safe' and 'just a pen pal'. However, I think part of you is starting to question what 'his' intentions are.

I suggest breaking off contact and getting out and having fun with your friends. Have fun being a teenager and learning how to have a social life. Meeting and learning about dating, figuring out what you like in a boyfriend (and what you don't like), etc. are all a part of growing up.

BECKYLOUISE · May 26, 2013, 06:16 AM

Originally Posted by Cat1864

Becky, what do you call a grown man who wants 'dirty' pictures of an adolescent? He does know how old you are, doesn't he? You know the pictures would be 'wrong' and you know why.

How far have your 'talks' with him gone? Do you discuss the weather or has he started talking about sex acts?

Has he asked for any non-dirty pictures?

How do you know this man is only 25 if you haven't met him? He could any age. He could be female and posing as a male.

You sound like a young female who has been manipulated (groomed) into thinking of this person as 'safe' and 'just a pen pal'. However, I think part of you is starting to question what 'his' intentions are.

I suggest breaking off contact and getting out and having fun with your friends. Have fun being a teenager and learning how to have a social life. Meeting and learning about dating, figuring out what you like in a boyfriend (and what you don't like), etc. are all a part of growing up.

He has asked for pictures that aren't dirty. Ive always had something in my head saying that he might not be who he's told me he is, that's why I won't send him anything

Fr_Chuck · May 26, 2013, 06:22 AM

Do not send any, and stop talking to him, if you send them, he and all his friends will see, they may be posted on interest, how would you feel, if your dad or uncle saw them.

talaniman · May 26, 2013, 06:23 AM

What 22 year old would take a penitentiary chance meeting with a 14 year old they met online? What 26 year old would meet with a high school girl? It was bad enough to ask for dirty pictures of you. That's a pedophile!

ABC-TV ran a sting operation posing as a young girl and inviting older guys from on line to visit someone they KNEW was under aged (like you). They have landed hundred of guys in jail, on camera.

So why would you expect YOUR online guy to be that dumb and meet up with you, obviously without your parents knowledge? Are you so smitten you don't know that you have jail bait written on your forehead, or that you are a target for some normal looking sweet talking perverts, pedophiles, and weird a$$ people?

Wake up and get real. Everyone tells you he is a pervert and pedophile, yet you are still unsure? Then tell your mom about it if you see nothing wrong with this situation, and you see nothing wrong with an adult pen pal that wants a dirty picture of a KID.

And what makes you think you are his only online contact with under aged girls? You better be careful, because believing a stranger you never met is trouble on so many levels, and you don't seem to be aware of it.

JudyKayTee · May 26, 2013, 11:21 AM

I wouldn't care what other pictures he wanted - this would be enough for me: "He wants me to send a 'dirty' picture ..." I think it's otherwise all been said.

You are being groomed. If you don't understand what that means, the implications, ask and I'll explain it - again.

I'm an adult. Someone, friend, foe, penpal, someone else, wants "dirty" pictures of me - he'll be waiting a very long time. I don't need/want the publicity and I have more respect for myself than that.

You should, too.

What do your parents think about this penpal situation?

Lucky098 · May 26, 2013, 09:37 PM

If your gut is telling you no, than follow that instinct. If you can't trust that he is who he claims to be, than move on.. You don't need to leave making a scene.. maybe just slowly back out of the picture.

BECKYLOUISE · May 27, 2013, 02:03 AM

Originally Posted by Lucky098

If your gut is telling you no, than follow that instinct. If you can't trust that he is who he claims to be, than move on.. You dont need to leave making a scene.. maybe just slowly back out of the picture.

I believe he is who he says he is, but I don't know if it's only me who's talking to him. We've seen each other on skype.

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