[routt2011]

My husband is 57 and his daughter is 22. When she comes to our house she dresses like a slut in short dresses or short short shorts low cut tops and hangs all over him. I am 47 not unattractive tall and thin. His daughter is also a heroin addict and is always trying to get money from him. We've only been married for a year and six months. When she wants something from him she acts slutty and sexual towards him and when she is mad at him because he won't do what she wants him to do, she refuses to speak to him.

[J_9]

This is a Q&A site. Do you have a question?

[joypulv]

This is between you and your husband, not you and his daughter. You tell him how you feel briefly, and say that you want to discuss your mutual money being given to her for heroin. Answer back to say how the talk went. Do it at a time when emotions are not running high.

[talaniman]

Obviously you hate her, but where is the incest part?

[JudyKayTee]

I understand not wanting heroin addict in your house. If all of your money is joint, yes, I understand not wanting to give her money. I'm missing the incest part (as has been mentioned) as well as the slut part.

If your husband is attracted to his daughter sexually you have problems that AMHD can't answer.

Is that what you are saying?

How does your appearance enter into this? You are in some sort of contest with his daughter to see who can get and keep his attention?

[Jake2008]

I think you all need help.

You, because you refer to the daughter of your husband as a 'slut' and acts 'sexually' toward her father when she wants something.

Why? Because to refer to a woman in either of those terms, denotes a hateful, bad, and destructive attitude just below the surface. I hear your description of yourself and have to agree with Judy, that you compare yourself to the 22 year old, and likely wonder 'what's she got that I don't'...

Your husband, because he is enabling an addict by not dealing with his daughter's problem. He has no boundaries, and shows little respect to his relationship with you, by allowing this behaviour- which is fueled by the need to do whatever she has to do, to get drugs. It seems to work with him.

The daughter- obviously has problems, that cannot be addressed via information from you, because you do not have a caring, concerned attitude. You are hostile, and she is desperate, and her father is an enabler to the 10th degree.

You won't be able to talk any sense into your husband, even if you did go to the trouble of seeking outside help and guidance from qualified individuals who could help explain her behaviour and her addiction. I don't get the impression you want to do anything but complain about his daughter's 'sexuality' and how it affects your ego.

You are not helping by making the focus on yourself. First comes the daughter, and her father has to step up, before she destroys herself.

That is a long, hard road to travel, with many ups and downs and emotional upset and turmoil. Are you up for that?

Second to his daughter, and his relationship with his daughter, comes his relationship with you. What do you think your role should be, and if it's helpful and supportive and positive- are you up for that?

If you are the shallow and uneducated person you seem to be, my advice is to do yourself, your husband, and his daughter a favour, and walk.