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DAJ1001 · Feb 14, 2012, 02:32 PM

My wife and I were married recently, and she has a daughter from a previous relationship. The father is not on the birth certificate, has never been in the picture, and has never paid any kind of support. This little girl is my world and she only knows me as her dad. The problem is that the father gets a wild hair every now and then and calls my wife to try and make contact with them (usually drunk). We live in Colorado and I have been told that it is best to wait until we have been married for at least 1 year before looking into adoption, that is fine. My question is what happens when we try to contact him and all of the sudden he tries to fight me adopting my little girl. Can we ask for back child support, or anything like that to help discourage him, and get him to relinquish his rights more quickly?

ScottGem · Feb 14, 2012, 04:13 PM

You can't ask for back support unless an order of support was previously issued. If so you can use enforcement of that order as leverage to get him to agree.

I would start shopping around for an attorney now. The attorney can advise you when to file, whether to lay groundwork for a refusal or whether there are other ways to get his rights terminated.

Fr_Chuck · Feb 14, 2012, 06:14 PM

Your wife, not you should have asked for child support years ago. If there is no child support order, then the bio father is not behind and does not owe a penny at this point and time.

But the bio father has to agree and sign over his rights to allow the adoption, If there was already a order in place and she is going after him hard for the money, they are garnishing his pay, often he is a lot more willing to sign over those rights.

tlite40 · May 20, 2013, 10:24 AM

I wasn't aware that I was piggybacking.. . thanks for letting me know.. and yes we did all the dna test with the courts... his name is on the birth certificate.. but that's it... live in New York state.. I know the law is different in some states... but yt? Have answered my qeastion thanks

ScottGem · May 20, 2013, 10:57 AM

Originally Posted by tlite40

I wasn't aware that i was piggybacking. ..thanks for letting me know ..and yes we did all the dna test with the courts ...his name is on the birth certificate ..but that's it... live in new york state ..I know the law is different in some states...but yt? Have answered my qeastion thanks

That is unusual. In NYS the husband is definitely the presumed father. The procedure, as far as I'm aware, is to ask the mother if she is married and, if so, the husband's name is put on the birth certificate no other questions asked.

Was his name put on the birth certificate after the court action? In any case, more than ever, you need an attorney to unravel who is the legal father and whether an adoption is necessary.