[Okm]

(before I start I would like to say that usually I'm not homophobic but it's just weird that my friend is bi or lesbian) Two days ago we were playing a game that is called The Truth Game over text. After asking several questions I asked her if she's ever liked anyone she didn't tell me about, and she said "no." then she said "Well, yeah but you'll get mad if I tell you." My first thought was about a guy I really dislike but if she liked him she liked him that's all I thought. I answered back " I won't be mad just tell me!" Then she said "I can't it's really big!" I answered " ok,well I may get mad but I won't stay mad forever at least give me some traits?!" So she said " brown hair like mine blue glasses and the teachers name" Then I guessed our friends name and she said (sorta looked joyful how she typed it) DING DING DING! Yeah I like her! :D! Then my iPod got taken away lol. So before school I didn't understand that it would be so? So? Awkward. Luckily the person she likes wasn't in school because I would have been all off-kilter feeling. So I don't know why but I was feeling like avoiding her would make me feel better but the entire day my stomach was "flipping" and I felt dizzy. Yeah the only text I texted her was to answer what time a concert started with an I don't know. And I feel that since I pulled it out of her our friendship won't ever be the same. I know I'm being a jerk but I can't help it, after she told me I went to bed because I was tired eccept that I didn't sleep right away I was in tears thrashing around because I knew we wouldn't be normal any more. I used to think that kids don't find their sexuality to be different until high school or closer to high school. ( we are both female and 12 years old in 6 grade) I'm just having a lot of anxiety and stress thinking maybe its just a stupid girl crush that she thinks is real but isn't but I don't know anymore. Yesterday I went to the woods to clear my mind and it turns out that the woods kept me from all of the stress and anxiety. So I went deeper into the woods than I ever went before and found a peaceful meadowy place but I didn't go into it. Am I going through post traumatic stress disorder or something?

[JudyKayTee]

"... usually I'm not homophobic ..."

Maybe you "usually" aren't. This time you are.

Why are you so upset? Why would this change your friendship? Where are you reading that people find their sexuality in high school - or later?

I think it's sad that a friend confided in you, and you have turned away.

I think you need to talk to a trusted adult about your conflicted feelings.

[Wondergirl]

No, you're 12 years old. No PTSD. Calm down. You're overthinking this. One's sexuality doesn't settle down until later in the teens, and it's always very fluid. At your age, I had a crush on my best friend Sally who was pretty and nice and always smelled like clean laundry. We'd hold hands at recess. Neither of us was gay, and each of us married males during the late '60s and had children.

At your age, hormones are starting to churn and emotions are trying to sort out the world.