[May2013]

Me and my boyfriend have been on and off for three years now. He always used to holler at girls on Facebook and twitter and it would piss me off. There is one girl that he would always text, no matter where we were and he would say "she's just my friend, chill out". So I broke up with him for 6 months, and in that time, I was not feeling the connection I had with him with anyone else and it was making me depressed.

During the six months, we would still always call and text me here and there, telling me he loved me. I then decided to give him another chance, this time I felt different. I wanted to cry because of how good he was to me, and I was sad I never really noticed or appreciated it. Then one night I seen that same "friend" of his texting him and missed call at three in the morning. I asked him why she was calling, and why are they still good friends like that. And he said “don’t worry, you should be confident and know that I don't want her. And I want you". So I left it alone.

THEN he accidentally sent a picture of his dinner to a group message with her and me in the conversation (and I knew that because I called all numbers in the group and she answered). At that point I was so mad and was assuming he was playing us both! So I text her and ask her why she calls my bf so late, and she said "that's your boyfriend? No disrespect, but you need to check him". I was pissed. I called him asking him and he was telling me to calm down. I talked with the girl and she did say that she noticed that he's been acting differently (around the time I came back around to my boyfriend). She also did explain that they were just friends until the beginning of the year (when him and I were already broken up) I was still mad!!! So I went over and recorded him saying that he wants me, not her. That he only considered her because I kept denying him! He was begging for forgiveness. And I sent her the video to let her see, I'm the ONE and she's not.

Now he's ignoring me and pissed at me because I "destroyed his pride and dignity". I love this guy with all my heart. I do not know what to do. I do not want to give him space, I want to fix it now.

[joypulv]

'And I sent her the video to let her see, I'm the ONE and she's not.'
That is always 100% guaranteed to kill a relationship. Never, ever deal with a third party. This is between you and your boyfriend.
You can say that you 'don't want to give him space' all you want, but those are empty words. You don't own him. Adults (assuming you are adults) don't get to tell each other what to do. You talk calmly, you work things out, and if they don't work out, you leave.
Jealousy is a poisonous emotion. If two people can't have other friends of the opposite sex, they are doomed. We all get jealous, but it's tiny if the relationship is good. It's also a matter of handling it and keeping it squashed for the sake of the relationship.
Having said that, there is a limit. Only you can decide what that limit is (such as 3 am texts seems too much to me). If he's over the limit and you can't list them and work out a solution, break up with him, and this time don't take him back.

[May2013]

I'm human, I messed up really bad. It's been two days now that he has not responded, should I leave him alone?

I kind of just want to go to his house and talk it through. And he was seeing her and getting more intimate with her while we weren't together.. When I came back, he did not know what to do with her and he lied about her just being a friend at that's moment.

As u can see, I am very impatient. He knows this well. We are both 20 turning 21. I know he loves me, I just have no idea what's going thro his head

[joypulv]

If you want him back (do you?) you force yourself to wait (will you?).
You can say that you are impatient and don't want to give him space - fine. Then you will lose him. I don't think you see that DOING what you want doesn't GET you what you want.

[Cat1864]

As u can see, I am very impatient. He knows this well. We are both 20 turning 21. I know he loves me, I just have no idea what's going thro his head

I don't know if he loves you or not. I am not certain you love him. I think you believe you do, but you don't seem to have the maturity to handle your emotions or a relationship.

You said at the beginning that this has been an on and off relationship. How many times have you broken up and gotten back together? Why have those break-ups occurred?

Your last break-up was for six months because of what you wanted. You left-you came back. But it doesn't sound like you worked on your issues or made any attempt to fix the problems that caused the break-up.

I am not excusing his behavior of not being honest with both you and the other woman. But you cannot control his actions. You can control your own.

Stop expecting everything to fixed at your pace. You are almost 21, not 5. You can control your actions and reactions. Impatience and temper tantrums are not going to help.

Frankly, I think you would be better off ending the relationship and using No Contact as a way to let go and focus on moving forward. No Contact means just that ending all means of communication with the ex. I think you might not have gotten back together if you hadn't still been in contact with each other. You were not giving anybody you met during that time a chance to be with you because you were still emotionally tied to him. You didn't let go and heal.

If you are insisting on holding on, let him calm down and contact you. In the meantime, work on keeping your impatience and anger in check. You do not want to repeat the behaviors of calling everyone in a group to check out who he talked to or sending out videos because you are acting out. If he wants to continue the relationship, sit down together and talk with each other. Communicate about what happened and why. Work together to set boundaries you can both live within. Slow down and rebuild from the foundation up.

Whatever happens, I do hope it is for the best for both of you. Good luck.