[j_w]

My girlfriend and I have a big age difference. I am 38 yrs old and she is 23. We have been involved for about a year and a half. We just gave birth to a baby boy in February.

She was unsure at times about our relationship. When she was pregnant she was great but after the baby was born she is STONE COLD. She says she's not sure if she wants the relationship. She moved in with me when she was pregnant, and now she doesn't appreciate me. And she is really cold hearted. I refuse to leave because that feels like I'm walking away from my son and I couldn't make her leave because that's putting my son out.

What do I do because I so badly want to get things right and do it God's way and get married. What do I do?

[Wondergirl]

How does she not appreciate you? Are you being a good partner and father?

[Fr_Chuck]

No, God's way is not to marry someone you do not get along with.

It is the proper way to start getting counseling and trying to work out the problems

[j_w]

no, God's way is not to marry someone you do not get along with.

It is the proper way to start getting counseling and trying to work out the problems

We hd been going to counseling but she started a class that prevents her attending the class. I know that's not GOD'S way to get married to someone you don't get along with. I mistakenly left out the counseling part.

How does she not appreciate you? Are you being a good partner and father?

I pay all of the expenses and she can't and won't even give me a hug or a warm smile when I come home. Sometimes she won't even speak. I know that Satan has a hold on her because nothing would tear your family apart like that other than satan! And honestly I'm pretty sure she's not cheating!

[talaniman]

Satan doesn't have a hold of her my friend, you are being selfish and unfocused. Consider that she has given life and it may take time for her to adjust to the chemical and hormonal changes in her body and the emotional changes after such a life changing event as she has gone through.

Add to that the stress of building a life for herself to support her child you have a female unsure of where her life is going. That would be typical of a female so young who finds herself in this situation and being torn in so many directions at once.

Your solutions may not be hers at this time, nor should you push and demand attention that only leadership and communications can solve. For now worry less about Satan and God and build a secure nurturing understanding healthy environment for her to heal, and find her way and make a decision.

Support what this young female has to do for herself, and leave the notions of forcing her to do the right things for just you as you do what's right for her. In short she just doesn't seem ready to get locked into your lifetime commitment because she has YOUR child.

Focus on being a good parent and do more than just pay the bills so your baby mama can get her own head together. Those courtesies you lack now can be developed only if you are more mature than she is. If there is love after the lust is gone, it will grow. If there is only obligation and responsibility then it has to be a shared one and since she is dependent on YOU, then there is no sharing.

Talk, listen, and pay attention my friend so you can learn to deal with your reality. That may require more open thinking than just one way to do the right thing for you both. Its obviously NOT marriage at this time.