[Lost sister]

My brother is 25 yrs old drinks beer every day, lives with my mother, has no interest in girls, friends, nothing except video games, he never leaves the house, even if he needs something at the store. We are so worried, he wears this same jacket every day even in the summer, no wind coat a winter looking jacket, he is very skinny and pale, he will talk to us but never seems to involved he seems very dumbfounded all the time. He cooks dinner every night but will "save his plate for later" and it never gets eaten. No one ever sees him eat, he says he knows he is f'd up and he don't care he won't talk to a doctor and will not do anything... What do we do

[joypulv]

If your mother won't do anything, the rest of you can't. She has to give him tough love - either go to a mental health clinic or get out, even if he ends up homeless. Who is giving him MONEY for beer? Food? Internet connection? Just for starters, she cuts off his supply of beer. But you say she's enabling him, so the rest of you have to work on her, and if she refuses, there is nothing you can do. They are both adults. I take it they are the only two living there? Then she is part of the reason for the way he is this way. She is afraid of losing her man around the house, her husband substitute and only baby, so he is conflicted.

[muttpupdawg]

I completely agree with Joypulv - your mother is an enabler, and your brother is codependent. This is a difficult combination to fight, especially because they are both adults, and you can't MAKE them change, no matter how much you want them to. However, you can help yourself - There are programs like Families Of Alcoholics, Al-Anon Family Groups, that can assist you, Copy and paste the following URL into your browser, it will give you the information to start you on your journey. Hope this helps! Information and Support for Friends and Families of Alcoholics