[poppy1985]

I met him at the start of college this year. We are both adult students, I'm 27 he's 24.I was in a long term relationship with someone I didn't love at the time. So when I started having feelings for my friend, I ended the relationship (didnt cheat or anything, I just knew it was time)! Before the christmas, it was so obvious we liked each other. He used to text me every morning to see if I was on campus so we could go to our classes together. He made me a dinner once, he brought me places in his car, and we went for lovely walks around the countryside having long chats. When we walked along side each other, we'd walk really close. Our classmates were always wondering if we were going out!

My friend asked him what the story was and he told her he was crazy about me, but worried because we have to be in college together for the next few years, and if things went sour, we could ruin our friendship.
So without saying it to each other, neither of us did anything.

Then when we came back from the christmas break, he changed. We didn't see each other over the holidays because he's from in a different town, but chatted once or twice over Facebook. The texts in the morning before classes stopped. He wasn't as close to me as before (this I gradually I noticed over a few weeks). He doesn't follow through on plans with me.. he suggested once that he'd call to my house and we'd watch a movie, but I never heard from him later that evening, and I text him and he said he got really lazy and didn't want to move!! I said cool, not a problem. I didn't want to show I was really disappointed.

One night I went out with my girlfriends, I met him in the club and we went back to his house to go to his neighbours houseparty. He told me I could stay in his house and he'd bring me home the next day. When we got back from the houseparty, we chatted, very drunk. We sat down next to each other and kissed. We were really drunk so we went to bed. Didn't do anything, we slept with our clothes on. But when we woke up the next morning, I got the cold shoulder! It was horrible. Still not saying anything to each other about the night before (even though it was him who initiated the kiss). He dropped me home, and when I got out of the car he said "see you during the week" and we hugged. That was it! So then I was like "forget that!!!". I have no idea what that was about to this day! He told me the night before he was seeing someone for a month, but had broken up with her a week previous, but personally I think he still could have been seeing her... and he felt guilty.
I'm still crazy about him after that, and it was 3 months ago. We were cool with each other when we came to college, and remained friends, still not discussing it though! Pretending like nothing happened.

I notice his body language a lot! When we talk in our group of friends, he directs the conversation at me and looks at me, he listens to everything I say, if I mumble a joke or something, he hears it, elbows me and laughs, he genuinely agrees with everything I say! He doesn't treat our other girl friends like that! 2 of my friends who we'd both be close to have said it! One mutual male friend said to me "you know he's crazy about you" and he heard what a great night we had out together that night!
He asks me for help with assignments and helps me too! He doesn't make the same kind of effort as he used to with me, but I know he has no confidence and told our group of friends months ago that he usually needs a drink or two before he talks to girls! I know he doesn't pick up on my hints, and I know sometimes I don't pick up on his. Its only when I think about it afterwards that I realize!
Anyway, I've come to stage where I just have to know now where I stand with him!
That's the background story, I don't think it's a simple "girl likes guy" situation, because we're such good friends. We get on really well and are always laughing and joking together while we can have deep conversations about life and stuff too. I would hate to lose him as a friend!
Should I tell him how I feel??
I don't think he's going to do it to me any time soon!! And I genuinely believe its because he thinks I'm not interested in him that way! I want to tell him I'm not expecting anything from him, I just want to know where I stand. I also feel everyone would like to be told by someone that they like them! I know he's younger than me, but he is a very grounded person ! The age thing doesn't bother me at all.
I really need opinions on this before I do it, so any thoughts would be greatly appreciated!! :) thanks in advance and sorry for it being so long! :)

[smkanand]

Pretending like nothing happened... actually nothing much happened as you said but something might happened. So it seems this guy is not clear about his own feelings. He seems to be confuse or something else happening in his mind that's why he is not showing guts to talk to you as a friend. I think you should ask him if you guys are still friends. Clearly discuss the kiss and solve the matter mutually. If you like him tell that but don't push anything and just tell him that you want to be still friend.

[Jake2008]

It seems to me that when he told his friends that he didn't want anything serious, like a relationship, because he feared that it may not work out, and he would lose you as a friend, really said it all.

He is treating you like a friend, but you are looking for reasons to the meaning of his behaviour with a fine toothed comb, looking for signs that mean he wants more than friendship.

Maybe he thinks that you get the friendship thing, because not only is that how he views you in his life- as a friend, but without actually talking to him about a friendship, or a relationship, how is he to know.

You have to do something! Maybe under your own initiative, invite him out somewhere quiet, and just tell him. Ask him if he cares enough about you to develop a relationship, or, does he want to maintain a friendship.

He has already seen someone during your friendship with him, so clearly he does not see you in a romantic way.

But, you won't know until you put honesty on the table. Only then will you be able to either accept you'll be nothing more than friends, or that the possibility exists for something more.