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kiara-morales · May 3, 2013, 05:06 PM

Okay so my guy best friend and I are in an argument, a silly one because he broke a promise. We were talking to each other through my friend and paper, but he said he doesn't want to fight for me or our friendship anymore. I don't want to lose my friend. I don't want to lose him, he's the guy I talked about before, now we're best-friends and we talk about everything to each other.

But once he broke his promise, my chest started hurting. I felt hurt and disappointed. I lost trust, but I don't want to lose him. I know we can't pretend like nothing is happening, help! What do I do to not lose my best friend?

smkanand · May 4, 2013, 01:57 AM

You can't force someone to be your friend. You said he broke promise. You have to fight for yourself. You should ask him why he don't want to be friend anymore. You must tell him that you can fight for yourself. I don't know what exactly happened in this case, you know it better so you can make through it.

kiara-morales · May 4, 2013, 08:53 AM

Originally Posted by smkanand

you can't force someone to be your friend. you said he broke promise. you have to fight for yourself. you should ask him why he don't want to be friend anymore. you must tell him that you can fight for yourself. I don't know what exactly happened in this case, you know it better so you can make through it.

No, its because I was mad, I wasn't talking to him, I was giving him the cold shoulder, and he said he doesn't want to be friends with someone like me

J_9 · May 4, 2013, 09:07 AM

He doesn't want a friend who plays mind games. Time to live, learn, and move on.

Alty · May 4, 2013, 09:14 AM

When friends get upset with each other they talk it out, they don't give the other friend the cold shoulder.

I can't blame him for deciding he doesn't want that sort of drama in his life. Now you know how not to treat a friend, at least if you want to keep that friend in your life.

kiara-morales · May 4, 2013, 09:51 AM

Originally Posted by Alty

When friends get upset with each other they talk it out, they don't give the other friend the cold shoulder.

I can't blame him for deciding he doesn't want that sort of drama in his life. Now you know how not to treat a friend, at least if you want to keep that friend in your life.

I didn't like giving him the cold shoulder, he just really hurt me and I was disappointed but I honestly don't want to loose him, he's my best friend and I need him, I'm trying to make it up, but then he wouldn't have to do anything when he is who did wrong to me, but I don't care if I loose my pride, I just don't want to loose HIM.

Originally Posted by J_9

He doesn't want a friend who plays mind games. Time to live, learn, and move on.

But I don't want to move on from him

Alty · May 4, 2013, 09:59 AM

It's up to him. Either he decides that he still wants to be your friend, or he sticks to his decision to dump you as a friend. You can't force him to be your friend, so it's really not about what you want, it's about what he wants.

kiara-morales · May 4, 2013, 10:13 AM

Originally Posted by Alty

It's up to him. Either he decides that he still wants to be your friend, or he sticks to his decision to dump you as a friend. You can't force him to be your friend, so it's really not about what you want, it's about what he wants.

I know, and I know I can't force him to do anything, because even though he hurt me, instead of talking it out I was a horrible best friend, now its all up to him.

jaidjen · May 6, 2013, 02:50 PM

I am in the same boat right now. Except my guy best friend was the one who did me wrong. I tried to talk to him and even apologized (when it was his fault) just to keep our friendship going but he doesn't want to talk to me. I've talked to people about it and came to the conclusion that I did my best and now it is up to him.
You can't force someone to be in your life if they didn't want to. You need to leave some respect for yourself. You may love him (as a friend or maybe more) but you need to love yourself more.
If he comes around and comes back to your life then that's great but if not, then just consider it a lesson learned and his friendship a memory to cherish.

kiara-morales · May 7, 2013, 05:21 PM

Originally Posted by jaidjen

I am in the same boat right now. Except my guy best friend was the one who did me wrong. I tried to talk to him and even apologized (when it was his fault) just to keep our friendship going but he doesn't want to talk to me. I've talked to people about it and came to the conclusion that I did my best and now it is up to him.
You can't force someone to be in your life if they didn't want to. You need to leave some respect for yourself. You may love him (as a friend or maybe more) but you need to love yourself more.
If he comes around and comes back to your life then that's great but if not, then just consider it a lesson learned and his friendship a memory to cherish.

I apologized for his mistakes too, but he forgave me(funny) and know he's ignoring me, he's my best friend because I can never see him as more because he has a girlfriend, I respect that. I wouldn't want some girl to take him away if he was mine, but he forgave me and know he's avoiding eye contact and any kind of contact at all, and I'm really hurt, it even makes me feel like I shouldn't have forgiven him, and it hurts

jaidjen · May 7, 2013, 05:35 PM

Originally Posted by kiara-morales

i apologized for his mistakes too, but he forgave me(funny) and know he's ignoring me, he's my best friend because i can never see him as more because he has a girlfriend, i respect that. i wouldn't want some girl to take him away if he was mine, but he forgave me and know he's avoiding eye contact and any kind of contact at all, and i'm really hurt, it even makes me feel like i shouldn't have forgiven him, and it hurts

It's understandable to be heartbroken about it. A friendship is still a relationship and when things fall apart, it is as heartbreaking as if you had a break up. Give him space. Maybe if he doesn't hear from you, he'll miss you. I can't guarantee that but that's what I am doing with mine. It's hard but there really is nothing else you can do. If you force yourself in his life, he will just end up pushing you further away.
Don't regret apologizing (even if he was wrong). You wanted to fix your friendship.
It's his turn now. Good luck!

kiara-morales · May 7, 2013, 09:29 PM

Originally Posted by jaidjen

It's understandable to be heartbroken about it. A friendship is still a relationship and when things fall apart, it is as heartbreaking as if you had a break up. Give him space. Maybe if he doesn't hear from you, he'll miss you. I can't guarantee that but that's what I am doing with mine. It's hard but there really is nothing else you can do. If you force yourself in his life, he will just end up pushing you further away.
Don't regret apologizing (even if he was wrong). You wanted to fix your friendship.
It's his turn now. Good luck!

That's what made me have to say sorry in the first place, not letting him hear from me, not talking to him, I can't just go out of states for a couple of weeks

jaidjen · May 8, 2013, 12:05 AM

Originally Posted by kiara-morales

that's what made me have to say sorry in the first place, not letting him hear from me, not talking to him, i can't just go out of states for a couple of weeks

Oh OK. If you stopped talking to him and won't let him near you at first then maybe he is trying to take control of the situation now? Generally, guys don't like girls who play games. If he feels that you don't have a legitimate reason for blowing him off before then maybe he just feels like you are just too much drama and games for him?

You also mentioned that he has a girlfriend. Did it occur to you that maybe his relationship is being threatened by your friendship and he had to choose between you or his girlfriend?

kiara-morales · May 8, 2013, 05:58 AM

Originally Posted by jaidjen

Oh ok. If you stopped talking to him and won't let him near you at first then maybe he is trying to take control of the situation now? Generally, guys don't like girls who play games. If he feels that you don't have a legitimate reason for blowing him off before then maybe he just feels like you are just too much drama and games for him?

You also mentioned that he has a gf. Did it occur to you that maybe his relationship is being threatened by your friendship and he had to choose between you or his gf?

I don't even know his girlfriend, he doesn't even talk to his girlfriend, and I doubt she even knows I'm his friend, and he's the one playing mind games NOW

talaniman · May 8, 2013, 06:24 AM

You appear to be the one obsessed over this so called friendship. Why can't you just leave this alone and regroup?

kiara-morales · May 8, 2013, 04:11 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

You appear to be the one obsessed over this so called friendship. Why can't you just leave this alone and regroup?

I'm not obsessed, I just don't want to loose something that I've had for so long

Alty · May 8, 2013, 04:24 PM

Originally Posted by kiara-morales

i'm not obsessed, i just don't want to loose something that i've had for so long

What you don't seem to understand is that friendship is a two way street. You can want all you want, if the other person doesn't want the same thing, you have to let it go. That's why you're obsessed, because you refuse to let it go.

He obviously doesn't want to continue the friendship. That's his choice, his right. Your only choice is to accept that and move on.

kiara-morales · May 8, 2013, 08:00 PM

Originally Posted by Alty

What you don't seem to understand is that friendship is a two way street. You can want all you want, if the other person doesn't want the same thing, you have to let it go. That's why you're obsessed, because you refuse to let it go.

He obviously doesn't want to continue the friendship. That's his choice, his right. Your only choice is to accept that and move on.

Well today it changed, he actually talked to me for a really long time, and a while ago he called me on the phone and sung me the song, "count on me" by bruno mars, he said he's sorry