Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #61

    May 2, 2013, 09:28 AM
    Just sit tight and let them work through this themselves and then they can deal with you. You knew this would be traumatic, so just give them time.

    The right thing to do is never the easiest.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
    Computer Expert and Renaissance Man
     
    #62

    May 2, 2013, 09:31 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    The right thing to do is never the easiest.
    Well I wouldn't say never, but the right thing is not always the easiest path. And you HAVE done the right thing here. Please be assured of that.
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
     
    #63

    May 2, 2013, 09:52 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Adrian3102 View Post
    This is the worst day of my life. My dads yelling my mums crying and nobody's talking to me but I can hear them. I must be the most Dumbest person ever. I wish I could get outta here I need to just leave
    I think you are a very intelligent and brave young lady.

    You know how you are blaming yourself? Parents go through blaming themselves and sometimes each other. They go through the thoughts of what they could have done to protect their baby (in their eyes you will always be a baby), why couldn't they see this coming, how they can help and protect you now, whether to confront the man, etc. If they were involved in you beginning this job, then there is another layer blame they will have to work through.

    You still haven't said if he used a condom or how long ago this happened. If your clothes haven't been washed, they need to be put in a plastic bag. This is something you can do.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
    Uber Member
     
    #64

    May 2, 2013, 10:33 AM
    I am becoming concerned about the unanswered questions. Nothing is tingling so far, seems sincere but, again, important questions are not being answered.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
     
    #65

    May 2, 2013, 10:35 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by JudyKayTee View Post
    I am becoming concerned about the unanswered questions. Nothing is tingling so far, seems sincere but, again, important questions are not being answered.
    I too am wary. Twelve hours' difference in time?
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
    Uber Member
     
    #66

    May 2, 2013, 10:39 AM
    I'm just uneasy. I'm not sure this isn't 1 person, 2 names - not sure at all.
    Adrian3102's Avatar
    Adrian3102 Posts: 32, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
     
    #67

    May 2, 2013, 03:09 PM
    It happened on Saturday I only babysit on weekends. He didn't use a condom but he said he pulled out so it was all right. I left the clothes I wore in my clothes basket in my room.I don't know about time difference but right now it's 7:35 in the morning. I just wanted some help that's all I didn't come on here to I don't know I just didn't know what to do. And I'm not one person two names what ever that means. I just wanted someone to talk to
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
     
    #68

    May 2, 2013, 03:13 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Adrian3102 View Post
    He didn't use a condom but he said he pulled out so it was alright.
    No, that's NOT all right. You can get pregnant that way.

    Have you and your parents talked yet?
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
     
    #69

    May 2, 2013, 03:18 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Adrian3102 View Post
    It happened on Saturday I only babysit on weekends. He didn't use a condom but he said he pulled out so it was alright. I left the clothes I wore in my clothes basket in my room.I don't know about time difference but right now it's 7:35 in the morning. I just wanted some help that's all I didn't come on here to I don't know I just didn't know what to do. And I'm not one person two names what ever that means. I just wanted someone to talk to
    Adrian, I don't want to alarm you but the 'pull-out' method is a good way to get pregnant. It is most effective between long time partners who know when her ovulation cycle and plan ahead. It is more than just pulling out before ejaculating. Pre-ejaculate can contain sperm.

    Put the clothes in a plastic bag.

    How are things with your parents at this moment?
    Adrian3102's Avatar
    Adrian3102 Posts: 32, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
     
    #70

    May 2, 2013, 03:24 PM
    My mum spoke to me last night she said they were taking me to the police station in the morning. I'm nervous to go but I'm ready. I didn't know I could get pregnant still can't you take the morning after pill. I know my dad is not happy with me I heard him last night talking about me he called me a slut and that I brought shame to his family then and then I don't even want to say the names he called the other guy. He was very angry
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
     
    #71

    May 2, 2013, 03:31 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Adrian3102 View Post
    I heard him last night talking about me he called me a slut and that I brought shame to his family then and then I don't even want to say the names he called the other guy. He was very angry
    Did he read this thread? Certainly he realizes this was rape.
    Adrian3102's Avatar
    Adrian3102 Posts: 32, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
     
    #72

    May 2, 2013, 03:37 PM
    I don't know if he read it I showed mum. I don't really care anymore I have to go to police station now mum said we leaving in 10 minutes I wish it was just mum coming but dads took time off work. I put the clothes in a bag so thanks for the advise
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
     
    #73

    May 2, 2013, 03:40 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Adrian3102 View Post
    I don't know if he read it I showed mum. I don't really care anymore I have to go to police station now mum said we leaving in 10 minutes I wish it was just mum coming but dads took time off work. I put the clothes in a bag so thanks for the advise
    Be sure to let us know how this goes. We are all here for you.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
    Computer Expert and Renaissance Man
     
    #74

    May 2, 2013, 04:26 PM
    Your dad is angry and acting foolish. You can have him read this. I understand the anger, but he has to understand that you were taken advantage of. You are not a slut, just a foolish immature girl who fell prey to a predator.

    Hopefully the people at the police station will explain that to him.

    Its too late for the morning after pill so you just have to pray. The chances are small that you are, but it is possible. And yes, please let us know how things go.
    Adrian3102's Avatar
    Adrian3102 Posts: 32, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
     
    #75

    May 3, 2013, 02:35 AM
    Worst day of my life I've never been so embarrassed. I just want this day to be over already.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
    Computer Expert and Renaissance Man
     
    #76

    May 3, 2013, 02:58 AM
    I'm sorry Honey, but this may be just the beginning. We are here for you. We will do our best to help you through this. Please take comfort that you are stopping a predator from preying on other young girls. Can you tell us what the police said?
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
    Uber Member
     
    #77

    May 3, 2013, 04:56 AM
    Wonder if the father is angry with himself - the child had sex in the child's house, in her bedroom. I don't know where parents/siblings were.

    I'm amazed she went to the Police Station and, based on a call by the parents, they didn't send their sexual assault "team" to her house to avoid the embarrassment of the appearance at the Police Station. There's also the physical exam - if we know when this happened.
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
     
    #78

    May 3, 2013, 05:20 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by JudyKayTee View Post
    Wonder if the father is angry with himself - the child had sex in the child's house, in her bedroom. I don't know where parents/siblings were.

    I'm amazed she went to the Police Station and, based on a call by the parents, they didn't send their sexual assault "team" to her house to avoid the embarrassment of the appearance at the Police Station. There's also the physical exam - if we know when this happened.
    Judy, may I ask if you read something I haven't? Did I miss something?

    According to Adrian, the encounter took place in a park not in her bedroom. I also missed where she said that they called the police. It sounds more like they were going to the station without calling.

    Quote Originally Posted by Adrian3102 View Post
    I live in Australia I don't think it's illegal. I didn't come on to him he said he wanted to talk so we went to the park, I don't know how I happened we were talking and then he just started kissing me. I just didnt know what to do. It's not like he forced me, I'm not to experienced with this situation.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
    Uber Member
     
    #79

    May 3, 2013, 05:29 AM
    You're right on the clothes - I read the hamper and didn't recall that the rape happened in the park.

    I am still concerned, not by the OP but by the parents, that they didn't call the Police instead of taking her to the Police Station.

    That was not a criticism of the OP - that is how sex crimes are handled in my area (and I'm not in Australia, of course). Rape victims, particularly underage, are interviewed in their homes, particularly in a small town.
    Adrian3102's Avatar
    Adrian3102 Posts: 32, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
     
    #80

    May 3, 2013, 03:21 PM
    I spent most of the day at the police station. I had to tell them what happened and then answer their questions while mum sat there. It was horrible. After that they took me to the hospital where a lady doctor examined me and took evidence which I don't understand seeing as it happened a week ago nearly. They came to my house and took the clothes you said to put it the bag. They said that depending on the physical evidence he would be charged with having intercourse with a minor can't remember exactly what they called it was kind of in my own world. They said they were going to nicks house to take him in for questioning. They want me to go and get councilling from SARC but I don't want to I just want this to all go away what mess

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search

Add your answer here.


Check out some similar questions!

Advice on getting over an ex [ 1 Answers ]

Two years ago, (I know this is so long) I dated a guy for 3 months. We had a great time, we got along, our feelings were mutual, we share the same b-day we r 5 yrs apart. The reason I believe he broke things off was because he had a lot going on. He was buying his first house. So he shut down and...

Please, Please any advice would have use! [ 10 Answers ]

I am looking for any kind help dealing with my husbands ex wife and the games she is playing dealing with child support and visitation with the kids. My husband makes regular child support payments of $640 a month exculding one month where he was unemployed. If you can help by answering one or all...

I want to get your advice, to make sure I am giving the correct advice [ 4 Answers ]

A friend of mine emailed me her question, knowing that I have gone through the custody thing before myself. She asked me when she can file abandonment on her sons father. I want to run by you what I am emailing her back to make sure I give her the correct information. Thank you for your help :)

Advice please [ 2 Answers ]

I have an ex boyfriend and I still love him. We broke up last Aug. and we didn't talk since then.well in Jan. the new year he desides he wants us to talk so we do. But now talking has turned into having sex and I just don't know if I should or should I brake it off any advice please email me or...

Advice on Giving Advice [ 16 Answers ]

Hey all! I have a slight dilemna and I'd like it if you guys and gals can help me out. I have two friends who are in a relationship together, but things have become kind of rocky between them. The problem is that they are both my friends so they both confide in me and ask for advice. At present...


View more questions Search