[Justme01]

My now ex girlfriend wants to be single because she wants to figure herself out. She doesn't want to be in a relationship at the moment because she doesn't want to go through pain anymore. She says she still loves me but she doesn't want us to be together now. She needs space from me. She is having sex with another guy when she needs physical contact. She doesn't want any emotional attachment at the moment. I don't know what to do. She never cheated on me when we were dating. She has always been very loving and caring.I love her so much and all I want is to have her back into my life. I am ready to forgive her and move on if she comes back. I've been hurting for over 3 weeks now. I still see her, we go out, have dinner, talk for hours but she tells me the same thing. She doesn't want to date me. She needs to figure herself out. I'm so confused. What do I do?

[Oliver2011]

Wow you are doing yourself no favors. No wonder you feel like you do. Going out with her, going to dinners, and talking for hours with her is doing you know good. She has sex with other guys and dumps her emotional baggage on you? Talk about having her cake and eating it to.

You need to break all ties and start moving your life forward. By continuing the relationship at any level, you are holding onto hope that she might come back. That is not emotionally healthy for you.

It will be hard but you need to do this. Calls some friends and go out. Go to the gym. Keep your mind active and each day will be easier.

[Justme01]

Here is the whole thing. I am 33 and she is 19. We met a year ago in Montreal. I quit my job a few months later to join her in Toronto. I had dated
A lot in the past but never felt anything close to what I feel for her. It was the first time I was dating a girl this young. It so happened that I fell for her. We spent a lot of time together and really loved each other. We were together despite what both families thought about the age difference. I got a new job in Toronto and had to work extra hours to make ends meet. I came back home most of the time tired and just wanted to eat , relax, then go to sleep. It affected our social and sex life a lot. She complained all the time that I was not giving her any attention and I was very different from the guy she fell in love with. I broke up with her 3 times because I said she talked and com

[Oliver2011]

Well learn something from this relationship. Also it sounds like you moved very quickly and in my opinion that can only hurt a relationship.

You also have to realize that it takes two people to decide to have a relationship. If you decide yes and she decides no, there is no relationship and you have to accept that. This is why you need to break off ties and start moving your life forward. Breakups suck and yes it is a sad time. But we all survive them and move on.

[Justme01]

[QUOTE=Justme01;3448561]Here is the whole thing. I am 33 and she is 19. We met a year ago in Montreal. I quit my job a few months later to join her in Toronto. I had dated
A lot in the past but never felt anything close to what I feel for her. It was the first time I was dating a girl this young. It so happened that I fell for her. We spent a lot of time together and really loved each other. We were together despite what both families thought about the age difference. I got a new job in Toronto and had to work extra hours to make ends meet. I came back home most of the time tired and just wanted to eat , relax, then go to sleep. It affected our social and sex life a lot. She complained all the time that I was not giving her any attention and I was very different from the guy she fell in love with. I broke up with her 3 times because I said she talked and complained a lot about all and nothing. She used to actually complain a lot about everything, not necessarily in connection to us. I felt a lot of stress because I'll come back home after a long day, just to hear more complains and argue at home. I'll go to sleep late and the next day, I'll be all frustrated and tired at work. Though we argued a lot, we did have very good moments too. It came to a point where she felt unwanted. She wanted more sex than I did. She wanted to hang out more than I did. I never stopped her from going out. I always encouraged her to hang out with her friends, have fun. All she wanted was to have the fun with me not with her friends. She got upset each time I said I didn't feel like going out . A couple of weeks ago, she asked me if I still wanted to be with her. She wanted to know if I saw her in my future. I definitely love her with all my heart and I always thought of a future with her. But she choose the wrong time to ask that question. I was going through a tough training at work. I suggested we discuss that at home but she didn't let it go. She kept pushing. I said I didn't want to be with her anymore. This was the 4th breakup. No contact for one week. She came a week later to get the rest of her things. I knew I had broken her heart really badly and I felt really stupid because this was the only girl I had ever loved and the only one who has ever loved me to this extent. I apologized , begged her to stay but it was too late. She said she doesn't want to go through emotional pain anymore. She had given too much in this relationship but I broke her heart. I understand her. When I realized what I had done, I cried like a child for a couple of days. I couldn't sleep, nor eat. I've lost interest in everything . I am still very confused and lost. It's so hard not to be with her. I have tried a couple of times to talk to her, take her out, spend time with her. She knows I love her and that I am very sorry for what I did but she wants to be alone now. She says she loves me a lot, that's why she doesn't want to see me. I have caused her a lot of emotional pain. She says, she is being only physical with this new guy. She wants to sort herself out. She doesn't want to be attached to anyone for now. The last time I saw her was on Saturday . We ordered dinner , talked, played monopoly. We spent about 7 hours together. She still has our pictures on her wall. I know I've hurt her more than a lot and I deeply regret. I haven't contacted her since Saturday because she said she needed space. She would like us to hang out once in a while. She had never cheated on me and frankly, she was the best girl friend I could ever wish for. I broke her heart really bad. I love her so much and I'll do all it takes to have her back into my life. At the moment, I am so depressed and full of regrets. I'm too confused and disstabilized.

[talaniman]

Oh stop making excuse why it didn't work and accept that it just didn't. I know you gave up a lot to be with her, but fact is the damage is done and its to late to fix it.

[Justme01]

Oh stop making excuse why it didn't work and accept that it just didn't. I know you gave up a lot to be with her, but fact is the damage is done and its to late to fix it.

It's definitely too late. I am applying the NC rule at the moment. It's really hard though. I guess it is the right thing to do.

[talaniman]

Mourn and grieve your loss, and then shake off your funk, and rebuild a life that you enjoy. We all know your misery, as we have all been there done that, and it does get much better. How soon depends on how well you treat yourself going forward.

You are hardly alone in this experience.

[joypulv]

A 33 year old should know that falling for someone is a lot more than just romantic notions of love. Not only were you older, but you had to have known that you'd be working more in Toronto (expensive city) and would be old and TIRED. How fair was that to a 19 year old?
Go back to Montreal. Suffer like we all have suffered at times in our lives.

[Homegirl 50]

You are too old for her to begin with. She is basically a teen, She wants to party have fun and you have a job, responsibilities.
This line about the boy just being for sex while she figures things out is just ridiculous. Stop seeing or talking to this girl and move on. When you are ready, find someone closer to your own age and stage of life.