[bedbug886]

Ive always worked and have taken care of everyone. Leve my husband cause of his drug problem. Took care of kids by myself, worked, cooked, laundry, field trips, crafts, you name it. My father soon became ill. So I I moved in with my parents. My mother and got different shifts at work in order for my father to have 24 hour care. That was still on top of everything else. My brothers just acted like I was sponging off my parent. When in fact I paid at least half of the house hold bills and had another two people to feed, take to the dr etc. When my father passed. I was told I had to stay with my mother and take care of her. I did. When it came time for her to have surgery I took over everything. Two kids, deadbeat dad, mother, 70 hour 6 day work week, dr.'s, cooking, cleaning, etc. It was just something that had to be done and it was me that had to do it. I knew that was just how it was no complaining. I had been doing all this for about 10 years. Missing my kids, my life. Early last year I quit my job. Something just snaped inside me somewhere. I just couldn't do all of it anymore. Since than my well everyone's world has fallen apart. Nobody cooks or cleans, dishes ha. I'm content most days just being in bed watching TV or sleeping. If my children or my mother want me for some reason they come to me in my room. I haven't sat in the living room for years. I've tried to tell my long term boyfriend that something's wrong. He just keeps telling me what I need to do. I'm not stupid I managed the house hold while growing up moved out at 15 took care of myself and others (the story of my life). At 18 I married had kids. People would tell me constantly how great of a mother and wife I was. Sorry that was kind of backwards. So here I am today feeling, well like I mess up everything I have any small part in. Relationships, household and everything else are suffering because of me...

[joypulv]

Sure, something snapped, understandable. No fun teen years, no happy marriage, too much responsibility without any appreciation. Now you are depressed, I imagine, and don't even know it.
How many kids, and how old, and how old is your mother, and what is her health like? Does your boyfriend work?
Personally I would trot down to the high school and ask about getting your GED. How does that sound, for starters, and ignore what everyone says?

[bedbug886]

2 teens, 1 graduating the other a freshman. They take care of themselves and each other. Heck they even heat me up food, pizza burritos several times a week.
My mother has been working for a few years now and didn't start contributing to the bills until I ran out of my savings. She makes a very salary. She has always refused to do any house work or cook. Constantly buys parishable foods and overloads the fridge with stuff no one eats so everything goes bad. She never takes the old food out before shoving even more junk in. We don't even know what's in the most the time. She is in her mid 70's. Very good health. My boyfriend has a very good business and lives in his own house. I hide out over there while he's gone and sleep over. He doesn't stay at my place much We help each other with
What we can. I was all set to go to school when I wrecked my car. I have no other reliable transportation. The bus system is very poor here. However I have decided that's what I got to do until my car is fixed. Now I just have to learn to how to use it. I want my ged and to attend a vocational school. When I think about having to work straiten up and main once again I feel overwhelmed

[bedbug886]

Depression yes

[joypulv]

The arrangement with your mother is touchy because it's her house, but you took care of her. But not now - she's in good health and working. She doesn't have to support you and her two grandchildren. She could tell you to get out if she wanted, but I assume that she likes your company and is grateful for all you have done, or she would.
Your long term boyfriend seems to be gliding along with this arrangement that's good for him - sex with no commitment - and no offer to let you all move in with him. (Maybe he has offered, but without mom?) I wonder if you are too easy, too accommodating with everyone.
You could see a therapist, but I have a feeling you can't afford it. You have a lot to be resentful about (dad, ex, unappreciative brothers) but you also have things to learn about not being a martyr in the first place, and to have more self-respect than to let a boyfriend just cruise along with no signs of a future.