[Albertrg]

Hello again
A phone call interrupted my response and wiped out my answer to Uber member. Did you receive any of it's content. Recap: No physical abuse. No mind games. We were in love. We worked together at the same job. We rode in together every night. For many years. Each child of ours received schooling for Casino dealers and licensing
Was provide so eventually all of my children worked with us. All in one casino. We all shared driving in. We were cited by management for being a good example for families

[joypulv]

.. So when did it all go wrong, and how, and why (besides drinking, which needs explaining itself, if it started late in life)?

[Albertrg]

Uber your responses have an understanding, as do the others in different aspects, that reveal either your own experiences or education in this field. Remember, I was self medicating staying low on the radar. We had a great marriage early on, our children were in karate( now Black Belts, teachers, till this day) my girls also were in Ballet ensamble dancing in shows in A.C. Theaters. My wife and I were always back stage. What magic times! Gymnastics studying under Russian gold metalist Ulga Korbit. They all fought full contact karaty in the Garden State games( winning the gold) written citations from then Gov. Kean. We lived and breathed one another. The devorce was my deserved consequence. I do not exonerate nor defend my actions that eroded our relationship in latter years. I suffer daily the memories I just shared. I am being helped now professionally, albeit too late. I care for 3 of my grandchildren getting 5 yr old to school daily. His breakfast clothes etc so his mother may focus on her career. My Autistic sweetheart I care for 24/7 in this house so his mom and dad can work. I take no money. I know this toxic for me. I don't break down in front of the children or family members. My private moments alone cover my emotional releases. My past has its predictable obvious disgusting and injurious effects on society, I know! But I was not a rolling drunk staggering and abusive. No wife beating or trouble at work. I hid that. I lived in fear of what is now treatable, to be found out by my family as being a non-achiever, confused and with out concentration and little retention. " Not the man she thought she married") there's more and varied infuences that go with this AD-whatever! I didn't bare all in this effort to find knowledgeable people in the field of Ostrasization. Or seek pity or rally support for a blame fest against my wife! When my sweet grandson can speak my name or recognize me as Pop Pop I'll leave this situation and help out as a satellite contributor. To do so now will relegate me to a lonely miserable existence. I accept responsibility and admit all this my fault. Now! This is for you all! Must I still be consistently and daily punished and abused while carring for my grandchildren( I was invited back to do this) ? I've made no effort to reconcile I have not attempted one word of diologue with my wife. Can someone of you tell me where I can find a qualified profession who can give an enlightened approach to deflect this silly but deadly effective system of " the silent treatment "? I'm exhausted. I need your help. Answer please. I end this communication, thank you and God bless you all Albert

[tickle]

I think in WG's reference of good stuff, maybe she can recommend an association of professionals able to deal with Albert's problems, who seems to have the same blog for every response we offer. I think this woman he is still married to has deep mental issues which she is unable to cope with on any level.

No, we are not 'professionals or even educated' in what you need.

We are not getting anywhere here, but running over the same road through five pages!

[talaniman]

You must first lose the guilt and shame of being a victim of your own failure. The way I see it, you are trying to deal with your issues and being helpful despite those issues. That takes a great degree of courage and resolve in my book, and you haven't quit on yourself.

You really do need to see you are, and have been working through your issues quit productively and deserve much credit. You can stand on your own without validation from your (ex?) wife.

Forgive yourself for having flaws my friend, we all have them, your wife and kids included. Seen your therapist or doctor lately?

[JudyKayTee]

I think this is a blog and agree - same stuff, many posts later, still posting very specific info which could be damaging and identifying.

Not exactly sure what's going on here but... the past is just that. The past. I don't understand why it's so important when things are so "wrong" today. For such a grand and glorious life something went very bad very quickly. Or so it seems.

[dontknownuthin]

You could see any therapist for help with this problem but they can only help you change your own behavior and response. They can't change the behavior of the other people. You could likely move out but offer to continue taking care of the children during the day.