[LittleBlackKat]

Hey guys, 2 questions. Maybe this will also help other people who have the same question (s) in mind.

First, it lately seems like everyone around me (friends, family, etc) is in a relationship, engaged, married, having babies. I am 22 years old, and I'll admit it : I have NEVER been in a serious relationship. I hate being the third wheel, and I'll also admit maybe I feel extra lonely because I am surrounded by people in relationships and such. How does one deal with the loneliness and lifestyle of being an outcast?

Second issue: I have tried getting romantically close with some male friends of mine, but over 95% of them are currently after exes who cheated on them, abused them, and just honestly don't seem to return their feelings. So my question is, why do guys like that insist upon chasing those types of women, and then moan about not being able to meet a "good, decent girl"? I don't mean to toot my own horn, but *waves* I'm standing right in front of them...

Thanks for any input!

[talaniman]

Hi LBK, Seems I have watched you grow over the years.

First, it lately seems like everyone around me (friends, family, etc) is in a relationship, engaged, married, having babies. I am 22 years old, and I'll admit it : I have NEVER been in a serious relationship. I hate being the third wheel, and I'll also admit maybe I feel extra lonely because I am surrounded by people in relationships and such. How does one deal with the loneliness and lifestyle of being an outcast?

Many of us mistake lonely and alone especially when it seems everyone you know is hooked up and seemingly happy. Don't be envious of them because often the public appearance they put on doesn't tell the story of what they struggle with behind closed doors. I think single people should have their own lifestyle they enjoy, so explore activities you like on your own, or with other single people, male and female as friends, and meet new people. Doing things you enjoy is the key to a happy social life and volunteer for a good cause close to your heart, or to learn. You aren't an outcast at all just a person finding there way, and you will.

Second issue: I have tried getting romantically close with some male friends of mine, but over 95% of them are currently after exes who cheated on them, abused them, and just honestly don't seem to return their feelings. So my question is, why do guys like that insist upon chasing those types of women, and then moan about not being able to meet a "good, decent girl"? I don't mean to toot my own horn, but *waves* I'm standing right in front of them...

They are hurt, to hurt to know what to do about it. People who are hurt have to heal and get over what they have been through and make LOUSY partners until they do. A healthy fun relationship, takes two healthy fun people.

Talaniman Rule- Never look for love, just have fun until it finds you.

Be patient and enjoy yourself. Explore all the possibilities, and make a few of your own.

Good Luck. :)

[Oliver2011]

I was going to comment but there is not much to add since talaniman said it so well. Great advice!

[LittleBlackKat]

Thank you so much talaniman and Oliver2011 for taking time to read my questions and consider them carefully. I really appreciate it, and I have learned so far that as talaniman stated, it is very true: The grass is NOT always greener on the other side (in terms of those people involved in relationships). I know I am still young and have a long way to go and many opportunities to find someone.
But for the time being, I can only focus on myself and adjusting to being single. I'm definitely trying to take more courses, spend more time with my family, and just take my mind and energy and use it on something positive instead of brooding.

Thank you both :)