[feelinglow]

My partner and I have been together almost a year now and our sex life is nonexistent. He says he loves me, wants to get married. When I raised the issue I’m told it’s because he loves me and I’m not a slut. Well I don't get it. I don't know any more if he is cheating or not... I don't see any signs so if he is he hides it well.

The hardest thing is until there is 100% proof I will not accuse him and I will trust him... 100%, but when you keep offering and are turned down continually it makes you wonder what is really going on, and it makes you feel ugly and unattractive. Yet I know I’m size 10 blond and blue eyed and many people hit on me all the time. I turn them all down because I don't do the cheating thing. But the question we are all asking is why don't they want us? Only the men have the answer and they never tell the truth. I know I keep the sex interesting. I give him anything he wants. I do all the stuff the other girls out there wouldn't dream of doing. I let him watch porn and even watch it with him. I've offered the threesome everything you name it.

Moved to its own thread.

[CravenMorhead]

(Moved to it's own thread, Cause I can. :-D )

Also, slight grammatical correct, ellipses (... ) aren't valid substitutions for periods. Punctuation, learn it, love it, use it.

He loves you and you're not a slut is the reason he doesn't want to have sex any more? "You trust him 100% but...." is usually a good sign that you don't trust him 100%. It is kind of like saying, "No insult intended but you're fat and ugly." It means that you don't trust him 100% and the sneaking concern of him cheating is gaining ground in your sub conscious mind.

"Only men have the answer and they never the the trueth(sic)," which goes to the trusting 100% issue. As well, you let him watch porn? He doesn't really need your blessing to do that.

So there are two issues here, there are trust issues between you and him but they're a sub issue of his lack of libido.

The general questions for him are:
1) What is his work life balance like? Is he tired? Exhausted? Stressed?
2) How is his health? Health issues? Alcohol, tobacco, drug use?
3) How is your relationship outside of the bed room?
4). How old are you both?
5). How often do you have sex?

In the beginning of a relationship, the honeymoon phase, you have sex a lot. Like rabbits. After you get to the sustaining phase of the relationship it drops off a lot. It isn't every day or several times a day but several times a week or once a week. Your intimate life will often fall to the wayside for every day concerns. As well when we get into a relationship we tend to continue into it as far as we can until it completely falls apart. This means we don't realize that things have gone past their best before date and continue to plan forward with marriages and kids and the like. It is nicer to watch the perfect future unfold then face the fear that it won't.

Please give us a little more info so we can help you further.

[talaniman]

I doubt this is about sex and as long as that's the only thing you make of this, you will never see other things that are happening between you, and around you that need tending.