Check out some similar questions!

Tippy3587 · Apr 15, 2013, 07:14 PM

My fiancé an I are trying to move to Florida due to a better job offer that would allow us to have more money and I would not have to work... I woul be able to b a full time stay at home mom for my 2 children... My daughter is 8 and my son is 4 with ADHD... They both have different fathers... My daughters father has no rights to her or visitation. Now my sons father and I have Joint custody. Right now our custody agreement is we split the week half n half... Which is very hard for my little boy... My pediatrician has suggested stability in his life and right now there is none when it comes to his father!! I want the right help for my child and for his future! I am not trying in anyway to take my children away from their fathers! I would be willing to let them come home for the summers. And we would all come back to our home town every spring break and Christmas break so we can all be together on the holidays. I just need to know if this is even possible or worth trying to get a lawyer and try to do?

smoothy · Apr 15, 2013, 08:01 PM

Exactly how do you determine the one father has no rights to his kid?

He may not have custody... but until there has been an adoption... he does have rights and can decide to exercise them with the courts help.

There is a simple resolution for the other child... give up your custody to move away. Many states would require that.
You really need to hire a lawyer.. because only a court can change the custody agreement... and the other parent can fight against your plan which WILL deny him his visitation.

Expect an expensive fight.

teacherjenn4 · Apr 15, 2013, 08:30 PM

Why is taking your son away from his father a step toward stability? You have two children with two different fathers and are now adding another man into their lives. This doesn't sound stable at all on your part. You are taking your son away from his father. As Smoothy said, this is going to be an expensive fight.

Tippy3587 · Apr 15, 2013, 10:05 PM

First of all I am not trying to take my son away from his father I'm trying to have him for the duration of the school year to help him threw this rough time he is having in school! His father provokes him to retaliate on other children that bother him I get phone calls everyday from the school... Second of all I was with my daughters father for almost ten years we were young and things didn't work out the way we planned I was single after that for 2 years living in the same home... I met my sons father and we were together for 4 years before I got pregnant... After I got pregnant he turned into a completely different person... I was beat and bullied!! I had to leave him... That highly doesn't make me unstable! The man I am engaged to has been a very close friend most my life he's been around my kids their whole lives as my good friend! Not just bringing another man into my kids lives! This is the man I am spending my life with... Not sure where you have the right to come off to say I'm unstable!

Tippy3587 · Apr 15, 2013, 10:21 PM

Originally Posted by smoothy

Exactly how do you determine the one father has no rights to his kid?
He may not have custody...but until there has been an adoption...he does have rights and can decide to exercise them with the courts help.

There is a simple resolution for the other child...give up your custody to move away. Many states would require that.
You really need to hire a lawyer..because only a court can change the custody agreement...and the other parent can fight against your plan which WILL deny him his visitation.

Expect an expensive fight.

I would never give up my half of custody for my son!! I hired a lawyer... A very expensive and bad one at that! My daughters father never established paternity to her, never signed the birth certificate or has anything to do with her! He could care less! I don't want to move away just to be with a man I want a better life for my children! Right now we don't have health insurance we both work very hard and fight to live pay check to paycheck and my fiancé was offered a very good job offer with full benefits, 4O1k and a pension... I am willing to keep the joint custody with my sons father I just want him during the school year and he can come back and b with his father for the summers. I'm his mother and as a mother it's my job to be the one to help my children threw school, to be the one helping with homework and the one the school calls when my child is sick and needs to come home! His father is a very selfish, high strung angry man! It's my job to protect my children and have them more than their father!

ScottGem · Apr 16, 2013, 03:10 AM

First, I understand that you want a better life for your children. But since the your son's father has joint custody, it is not us you need to convince, it's a court.

You have to go to court and request a modification of the current custody agreement. Show proof of the problems your son has in school. Show proof that these problems are being exacerbated by the father. Offer to allow the father summers and school holidays instead.

But there is no guarantee of how a court will rule. The court may, in fact go the other way and rule that if you want to move, then the father will get primary custody. It is certainly worth going to court about but is your fiancée willing to turn down the job if you can't bring your son?

As far as your daughter is concerned, since there are no court orders for custody or visitation, then you are free to move with her. But you are wrong in believing her father has no rights. He just has chosen not to exercise those rights at this point. He could, at any time, go to court and get some level of visitation.

I want to address this quote; "Not sure where you have the right to come off to say I'm unstable!!" You gave her the right by posting a question on this site. This site is different from other Q&A sites in that we try to address the whole situation. Look at your original post. All you told us, is you have 2 children from different fathers and now have a third man in your life. That you are wanting to uproot those children from their home and move them. That certainly gives us the right to question stability.

I also want to address this quote; " It's my job to protect my children and have them more than their father!!" That is a very prejudiced way of thinking. Father's have rights and it is no less a father's job to protect his children than the mother's. And it is definitely NOT your job to have them more than the father. Its not even your right. Ideally, you would have stayed together and raised your child together (I'm not saying you should have stayed with an abuser, I'm speaking ideally). But if you go into court with the attitude that you have more rights than the father, you will lose.