[wanderingchild]

I don't know if there will be any people from South Korea who will be able to see this article, or even be able to understand this article, but with dear hope I want for people to read this and understand what my purpose is.
My purpose is this: I am looking for my elementary school teacher, and if you live(d) in South Korea, then you know that throughout your elementary school days, you have one teacher... until the day you graduate.
Now I've had one female teacher. Unfortunately, because the trauma was too much to handle as a child, my memory is being blocked out and I do not know how exactly she looks like.
And the trauma is this: I do not know how much or why my teacher hated me, but if you see a child before you, someone who is relying on you to protect them, then you should. I was that child who was desperately in need of help. I was being bullied by the other students. Severely bullied. This, apparently, all started when I moved to South Korea from the United States, and wasn't very developed in the Korean language. And I was also placed into school much earlier than my peers (by around two and a half years) and could not keep up with the curriculum so I had horrible marks.
And I always learned from the States that the teacher is the person who protects you when you are at school. So I was always approaching my teacher for help. Perhaps it was because of this that she hated me. Because I always needed help? Was it an annoyance?
The point is that one day, she must have blown her fuse. Because she told me never to ask for help from strangers again. I listened to her because I wanted to be a good little girl. I was only a child, after all. Now at the time, children are asked to write in diaries which are examined by Counselors at the school. The school counselor apparently read mine and was greatly shocked. After around five years of bullying, I was finally saved. But bullying wasn't the only conflict in my life. I was also being bullied at home too. And once, it seemed that my own older sister had tried to kill me. Perhaps it was because she didn't like my existence because I was a great humiliation to her. Or perhaps she just hated me. Who knows?
I was saved then, because my suicidal thoughts were written in my diary. I don't write diaries anymore, after my sister read mine out loud at the dinner table. And the female teacher I had was fired, and I was given to a different male teacher. He was kind. I still remember him. Only him.
Throughout my childhood I've never had any true friends. Now I do. And I'm happy about that. But I would like for any assistance from anyone out there to help me find this female teacher of mine.
And when I do find her, I would like to ask her three questions:
1. Did you hate me? To which I can forgive.
2. Why did you do this to me? To which it may be harder, but I can forgive.
3. If you remained as a teacher (or if you could have remained as a teacher), would you have done exactly the same to another child who was in the same position as me? Depending on this last answer, I may not forgive her.
Because everything done to me is in the past. But if she ever did this to anyone else, I cannot forgive her.
Again, the reason why I am uploading this is because I want for others to either read this or help me find her. Because everyone needs to know that even though they think children do not know, that they do not understand, that they cannot understand because they are too young, you are wrong. Children always understand, and they always know.
Thank you for reading this. Whoever you are.

[joypulv]

I haven't seen many people on this site from South Korea. Your best option is Facebook, because you start with family and friends and expand to friends of friends.

I'm sorry for what happened to you.

[wanderingchild]

I haven't seen many people on this site from South Korea. Your best option is Facebook, because you start with family and friends and expand to friends of friends.

I'm sorry for what happened to you.

Thank you for reading this, at least. :)

[joypulv]

'Children always understand, and they always know.'

I think she knew that all along, and still does, if she's alive.
Some people aren't cut out to be teachers.
She may have had serious problems of her own.
She may have resented you because you were struggling, and she was too.
Maybe she was like you as a child and thought she could be kinder to children than adults had been to her, but she couldn't.

I don't see any value in finding her. Chances are she would be in the same denial that she was then, and it will just open up the same wounds in you. She may have known what she did, but she will deny it to you and even convince herself, statistics say.

Writing this as an 'open letter' is better.