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gijane1983 · Apr 4, 2013, 03:06 PM

I have been dating this guy for over 6 years and I'm tired of waiting for him to man up and actually fix what's wrong in the relationship, instead of putting a band aid on the problem and letting it fall of later. He's a very passive person and his MO is getting the girl to break up with him, and for some reason I just really want him to break up with me. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

joypulv · Apr 4, 2013, 03:28 PM

So... maybe you aren't so different from each other?
I just don't quite get the problem. Think of some really clever way to end it, if that will make you feel better. You could exaggerate a fake desire to please him, such as 'I am thrilled to fit your MO,' with a big curtsy, and back out of the room bowing, with a suitcase in your hand.

odinn7 · Apr 4, 2013, 05:35 PM

This is childish... just break up with him and be done with it. I can't understand wanting to hang in there just so you can be right.

Alty · Apr 4, 2013, 05:41 PM

So you want to play games with him? No wonder this relationship hasn't worked.

Sleep with his best friend, that will make him dump you.

After you do that, don't date anyone until you're mature enough to be in a relationship.

joypulv · Apr 6, 2013, 04:52 AM

Sleep with his best friend! Why didn't I think of that?

Alty · Apr 6, 2013, 08:48 AM

Originally Posted by joypulv

Sleep with his best friend! Why didn't I think of that?

Because you don't have a devious mind. Thankfully I do. ;)

Cat1864 · Apr 6, 2013, 09:29 AM

Why should he break up with you?

How long have there been problems in the relationship? Since the beginning six years ago or more recent? What have you done to work on them? What have you expected him to do?

This sounds like you both have issues and neither of you are willing to deal with them directly. You may have tried at one time, but you aren't at this point if you are trying to goad him into instigating a break-up. You both are pulling the rug over the hole in the floor and waiting for the other one to fall through or fix it. That isn't a partnership such as a healthy relationship should be. That is Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck.

Stop playing games. If you want out-leave. If you want him to man up, tell him what you need and be honest with him. If you give him an ultimatum, keep it. Don't tell him you are going to leave if 'A' doesn't happen in a reasonable time only to stay and badger him about it. Listen to what he needs in the relationship. If it isn't something you can handle, get out.

In a lifetime of memories, who breaks up with whom doesn't matter. You have to do what is best for you in the long run.

You cannot change him. You can change yourself. It means either accepting him as he is and adapting or realizing that nothing is going to be different unless you move forward.