[garboozle]

I hear much talk of healthy relationships and how my views are "unhealthy", not only from people on this site but also from close acquaintances of mine. I once confided in a friend I wouldn't mind being with an abusive partner, I never heard the end of it. If two people are in a relationship and contribute to each others happiness in a major way, how is that unhealthy? Relationships are all about give and take, people exchange, people make compromises for those that they love. The scale is sometimes tipped but as long as both parties know and they are both getting what they want out of the relationship, why is the relationship deemed unhealthy?

[Zea]

How could a relationship be healthy if one partner is physically or emotionally abused?

If two people in a relationship are happy than you can call it a healthy relationship. It is common sense.

[smkanand]

Relationship is just not about give and take. This not business. How could abuse be a healthy way? You don't mind a abusing partner? You can't forget that you are a individual and human being first, everything else comes later. Any kind of abuse is bad.

[Fr_Chuck]

It is a society norm, society determines what is healthy and what is not healthy, here in China for example a man hitting his wife if very acceptable, women are in fear of it, often.

In some nations, women are basically owned.

But in most Western culture both parties are expected to have respect and honor of the other, and any forms of abuse is considered wrong and harmful

[joypulv]

I agree with those above, especially Fr_Chuck about norms.
Even in countries where it the norm is to treat each other without abuse, there are subgroups for just about any unusual preference. You can find S & M (sadism and masochism) groups in the bigger cities. I think they are more underground these days. You are a masochist, garboozle. It's possible to exist without harm to yourself (or anyone else) as a masochist if you know what you are doing. Maybe you can join a club and that way you won't have to pay for attention.
I think we all have a sadistic side and a masochistic side, and most of us don't acknowledge it. Fleeting fantasies of either being in total control or of being controlled, whether in a sexual situation or not. It boggles my mind that a woman can dress in patent leather and crack a whip and a man will clean her whole house just for the chance to kiss her toes at the end, but whatever floats your boat.