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country mama · Mar 23, 2013, 02:56 PM

I live in North Carolina.I am married(Im 33 and he is 36) and have been for 5 years,I have three children of my own and my husband has a son who he never gets to see due to his ex-wife constantly causing trouble and now his son is 14 and he gets to anything he wants at his mom's and he knows we have rules about the things he does(we won't accept him acting like he is grown or out doing bad things),my brother and his girlfriend are expecting a baby in November and asked if I would adopt their child,if I wanted to go through with it on my own,instead of with my husband(responsibility being solely mine),would it be possible? Both my brother and his girlfriend are willing to just give the baby to me no questions asked.All I would have to do is hire a lawyer to file the paperwork with the court.

ScottGem · Mar 23, 2013, 03:27 PM

I sincerely doubt it. But you should consult a local attorney

AK lawyer · Mar 23, 2013, 04:20 PM

It is theoretically possible, as I read the adoption statutes in your state, for a married woman to adopt a child without her husband being also an adoptive parent of the child. But you are going to need a real good reason to tell the judge. Doesn't your husband want to adopt the child?

And I don't see what is the relevance that information about your step-son. Assuming that you think it's somehow relevant, please explain.

country mama · Mar 25, 2013, 05:11 AM

My husband is afraid the situation with his son would stop "us" from adopting my brothers baby. Therefor we have talked about just me possibly adopting it alone... Brother's girlfriend has already threatened to abort the baby,she is young and my brother,no matter how much he tries to do the right thing she flips out over the least little thing and constantly changes her mind about wanting the baby and then she doesn't... We've all talked and have agreed so far the best place and thing for this child is with us.. I have done some research on this and found where immediate family can adopt with no hassle if the bio parents agree about it...

AK lawyer · Mar 25, 2013, 02:54 PM

You had best consult a family lawyer in your state, but in my opinion it would be best if you and your husband both adopted the child. I don't see any authority for your conclusion that " immediate family can adopt with no hassle."

ScottGem · Mar 25, 2013, 06:42 PM

A court is going to look at the family situation. So they will look at your husband's situation with his son whether he is part of the adoption or not. So you would be better off making him a part of it.

Synnen · Mar 25, 2013, 07:01 PM

This is NOT the legal side of it, but... You need to get your brother's girlfriend into counseling, pronto.

If she doesn't know what she wants to do, she needs help making that decision WITHOUT pressure from anyone else telling her to choose adoption and choose THEM for the adoptive parents. It's actually MUCH harder for many birthparents to cope with related adoptive parents than it is to have strangers, believe it or not.

Even if she DOES choose adoption, she might not choose YOU.

She needs an impartial ear to help her figure out what is best for her and for her baby. Please help her get that help before you start counting on adopting her unborn child.