[skyecko]

1. She went to Vegas on trip. She said she didn't know what time she got in. That didn't make sense to me so I asked her if she had been drinking. She said why would I ask her that when I know she doesn't drink. For next 3 days she only text me once a day.

2. She comes back from trip and go to her house. She is acting strange. No emotions; no holding hands or affection. I feel weird. She gets upset with me an ask me to leave. She says I don't trust her; that she needs space. She then text me the following.

I have fear for many things that if I do something wrong bad things could happen, I have told you many times we aren't perfect but I know you are perfect for me, I want to make you happy And I know I can do it, I told you I need to get things straight and all I'm asking is give me time and space, if you think that this will ruin wherever we have, I'm sorry, I want to be with you with no fear of anything, it might be hard but I think this is the way, I don't want this relation to get very strong then brake, that will hurt more than if we wait and do the right thing, I didn't know talking to you getting to know each other will became a relationship, I do want to be your girlfriend and you my boyfriend but I need space and time to little by little change my life and include you in it. Everything has happen really fast for good but at the same as fast can break if we don't do the right things. I like you and care about you a lot, I hope you really understand me, I noticed I don't like to repeat things but I will learn to do it to make sure we understand each other.


3. For the next 3 weeks we do not spend time together and she doesn't ask. I bring her flowers to work a couple of times but communication drops off from her. No sex or affection; or anything.

4. After the 3rd week I go to her workplace to give her a card. She gets upset with me and says she had told me not to come to her workplace anymore. She then tells me "Whatever this is I want it to stop!" -- I leave and go home. She then text me the following.


"ThankYou for giving me the time and space I need, yes I want to know too how you areand say hello sometimes but for me is really hard to be just friends after ofwhat we had, but for me I think is better if we just limit our conversationswork related I'm loosing you right now because this is how it need to be,because I know if we mean to be together it don't matter how much time willpass we will end up together, but for right now we just can't do it. I don'tknow if I'm clear but like I told you already about my priorities. I don't wantto hurt you on any way I care about you and always will be thinking on you."

5. I text her after a few days asking for clarification on the breakup. She doesn't respond.

6. I give her no contact for about 3 weeks. I then go to her husbands store (we all work for the same company) and that night she text me asking if we can talk. She calls and she asked me what my intentions are for going to her husbands store. I say I have none. She then tells me that she had been near my house several times on her way to see the immigration lawyer. I joked with her that maybe her heart was driving her to me. I think she say "Maybe" -- She then tells me "You don't have to worry about whether or not were thinking of you because we are; everyday." -- I told her I am thinking of them everyday also. She says "I told you if were meant to be together we will be together; I need you to trust me." -- I tell her "I do trust you; completely; the words you told me." -- She tells me "I don't feel that you do" -- I tell her "I do; completely."

We then talk about how the kids are doing and how her work is doing and we get off the phone after an hour.

7. A week ago Monday I text her asking if we could talk on the phone. She said "Yes". -- I send her a few text saying I was busy because I decided I was making a mistake trying to bring up asking clarification on her intents. Another week goes by and on Monday I do the same thing. She says she just woke up from a nap and had a headache and I told her we could talk later when she felt better. She replied "Ok, we'll talk later"

8. So that is where we are right now. I am unsure what to do; not to do; where I stand or anything. My best friend thinks her replying to my text is positive and I need to just trust her words about "Trusting her" -- But I don't really know what I'm trusting. I do trust her; but I'm not sure if I trust her intentions.

[skyecko]

Also, just to add some details. She is married but her husband moved out of the house. She has two kids 7 & 12. She is trying to get her citizenship through her husband. She was concerned before that he might hurt her or the girls if he found out about her and I; or that he might try to take them away in a custody battle if she tried to get a divorce. That is part of what she is referring to in #2 above.

[Zea]

I think that your girlfriend, or the woman in your life, not sure that you two broke up, is not in her best form. I mean look she is trying to keep this relationship a secret, maybe that is why she flips out with different reactions when she thinks that her husband might be in suspicion. For example, when you went to her work place, or where her husband works she suddenly rushes into thinking that you might cause her husband to see what is happening in her life with you. I think if you love her, than stay away from revealing your relationship with her, and stay anywhere from where her husband might be,so your girlfriend will relax, until they divorce at least.
I hop this helps.

[skyecko]

I think that your girlfriend, or the woman in your life, not sure that you two broke up, is not in her best form. I mean look she is trying to keep this relationship a secret, maybe that is why she flips out with different reactions when she thinks that her husband might be in suspicion. For example, when you went to her work place, or where her husband works she suddenly rushes into thinking that you might cause her husband to see what is happening in her life with you. I think if you love her, than stay away from revealing your relationship with her, and stay anywhere from where her husband might be,so your girlfriend will relax, until they divorce at least.
I hop this helps.

But the problem is she broke up with me probably because I didn't give her enough space and she was concerned about her husband finding out which she had told me before. But she broke up with me is a bit drastic for the situation and asking for no contact even more drastic.

[Zea]

Yes! Of course my friend.
I suggest that you leave her for a while, because she literally believes that if her husband finds out than the children might be lost to him, which might make her dislike you even more bitterly.
If you can't take this and can let all this go than do it and move on. I mean you call it out.
If you truly love her than you will have to help her by first giving her a huge space, and secondly dealing with her mood swings and there should be no problem with that if you truly love this woman.