[miket1968]

Hi.

We have been dating for 12 months she was dating a guy 4 months before me. He relocated and called it off, as they didn’t want a long distant relationship. A couple of weeks after we met he returned and started text messaging her. She and I were dating for 5 months and we were so close that she was looking at wedding dresses.

Over time she had visited him and told me of this. She said they just friends catching up. Since then she has been very distant towards me that I had noticed so a asked her what’s up? She said that she is in love with him, her heart is there for him, and doesn’t know why as she has told me that I’m the perfect guy she has dreamed of having. The ex has told her that he would like to start dating her and she mentioned this to me 3 days ago, that she will go to him because her heart is for him to find out if she really does love him. She is also scared to lose me all together and if it doesn’t work out wants me back. She would have her heart back and be able to give her heart to me. We both agreed to stay in contact as that’s what she wants. Why is her heart still for him?

[smkanand]

Well, on one hand hand she is honest to admit her intentions but if that doesn't work she wants you as back up. I guess she's in double mind. She also know that you love her and besides her even after knowing all. You said she was looking over wedding dresses after seeing you. That wonders me. She has taken you for granted. If she has heart for her ex then you better walk out officially this relationship. Even if you want to be remain friends but you have to make things clear in a relationship. You have to set boundaries for both. You can not let your emotions used. I guess self respect is very important so take care of that. You can be in contact with her without hurting yourself respect. Let her do what she desire but don't expect much from such person.

[miket1968]

Well, on one hand hand she is honest to admit her intentions but if that doesn't work she wants you as back up. I guess she's in double mind. she also know that you love her and besides her even after knowing all. you said she was looking over wedding dresses after seeing you. that wonders me. she has taken you for granted. if she has heart for her ex then you better walk out officially this relationship. even if you want to be remain friends but you have to make things clear in a relationship. you have to set boundaries for both. you can not let your emotions used. I guess self respect is very important so take care of that. you can be in contact with her without hurting your self respect. let her do what she desire but don't expect much from such person.

We have been honest to each other just so confused that she has to do that just to find out why she loves him and hardly knows him like she knows me and I have respect for her and her decition that has left me with a borken heart and if he isn't the man for her he will have a broken heart

[smkanand]

You know what are you saying? You just said that she has to find out "why she loves him" ?
She hardly knows him and loves him. And now you feeling for other guy, if he isn't the man! You contradicting yourself!
Fact is you know she loves him and you still not accepting this. I think this is very difficult for you but eventually you have to get over her. I know this is tough but it will be good for you to accept it asap. This girl doesn't love you and life would have been great if people will try and test their relationship like the way this girl doing but unfortunately cookie doesn't crumble like that! Leave her before you get even more hurt.

[N0help4u]

She has a history with him. She thought it was over, tried moving on but saw her heart was else where and Its better Its out in the open and you know where things stand