[Taraleigh11670]

When my ex-husband and I divorced, our divorce papers stated that we have Joint Custody and both of us have primary/physical custody. We never went through an attorney nor did we set any definite parenting guidelines, but we both got along so we followed our own schedule for our two children and switched holiday's each year and rotated them equally on set days. He remarried, now the situation has changed and his new wife would do anything to go against me. Although many things have transpired, the issue now is that he is trying to take them out of school without my permission and missing 6 days of school prior to their spring break. He or his wife first got permission from the teachers by emailing them at school, which most teachers will not tell a parent "no", he told the kids about the vacation and then he asked me last in which I said "no". I believe their school to be very important. They are going by their step-brothers schedule for their spring break and not thinking of my children. My children make good grades; however, is it lawful to take the kids out of school from Indiana to Florida without the other parent's permission? The only thing we have in writing is our divorce papers that merely say Joint Custody and both parents with Primary/Physical Custody. Is there anything I can do? They leave in 5 days and I am not sure if he is taking them or not and I really do not even know where they are going for sure. If it were their spring break or they were on summer break from school, I wouldn't mind the kids getting to go. Thank you in advance for the help!

[ebaines]

This is a good example of why "joint/primary custody" leads to conflict, as essentially neither party has the final say. It is not illegal for your husband to take his children on vacation, even if school is in session. You and your ex need to have continuing discussion so that as parents you have a common vision of how the children should be raised. It seems that's been lacking, but my advice is don't go to war over this one instance. I sympathize with your desire that the kids go to school rather than vacation, but the teacher should be able to provide a homework package that the kids can work on while they're away. There are likely to be many future such rifts if you and he can't agree on the ground rules, and both of you must be willing to compromise. As the kids get older and issues such as dating, curfew, body peircings, what sports to engage in, etc are all likely to become divisive issues. Best talk them through these kinds of issues and reach understanding well in advance.

[Taraleigh11670]

Thank you for your help and information! I wasn't sure if there is anything that I can do at this point.

[ScottGem]

There may not be much you can do at this point. You would probably disappoint your children if you were to stop them.

But for the future, you can a) either go back to court and have one of you established as primary or b) inform the school, that you have joint legal custody and any decisions involving school, being taken out of school have to be agreed by both parents. This way they don't spring this on you again.