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bazingabazinga · Mar 16, 2013, 03:52 PM

It all began 4 years ago, I was best friends with this guy and we were very close. Everyone could see that he loved me but I didn't notice at the time. He didn’t have the courage to ask me out because he thought I would reject him because I was much more popular than he was and a lot of guys asked me out, he tried to once and when he felt I was embarrassed to say I don't feel the same way he said he was joking.

Two years later we started making out, he kind of tricked me into it at first but then I was into it. I didn't know if I had feelings for him or not, we made out for 2 months without anyone knowing until a friend saw us and made him tell me how he feels because she said she was sure I didn't feel the same way and I was just having fun. He told me he was in love me, I said I definitely cared about him but it wasn’t love and I said I didn't feel the same way or at least I wasn't sure. We became best friends again, but soon after we started making out again and he told me that he still loved me and that I should tell him if I ever feel the same way.

But now a year later his way completely changed he used to buy me things and act cute and call me every day, now he calls me every other week and he's rude most of the time and he doesn't care about seeing me. And now he says he likes someone and he thinks he might even love her, I cried when he told me and I couldn’t sleep that day. I don’t know if I love him or not, on one hand he's rude and mean sometimes and he acts like a jerk a lot and he's definitely not good looking, you know not the guy a girl pictures when she imagines her first boyfriend, and on the other hand I love seeing him and talking to him and kissing him and I think he’s smart and funny. I love being alone with him, I feel like I could definitely date him or even marry him if it was only the two of us and my friends and other people who would make fun of me for dating him didn't exist, but when I hang out with him with other people around I don't feel like I love him or want to be with him.

I want to know how I really feel about him before it’s too late and he’s really in love with this new girl, Do you think I might actually love him, or maybe it's because he's the first and only guy I've ever made out with and been intimate with? I'm miserable right now and I'm afraid to lose him for this new girl I don't act fast. This is all I think about please please please help.

talaniman · Mar 16, 2013, 04:12 PM

You play a guy for a year, and put what everyone else says before his feelings and now you're freaked he may have found some one else?!

Leave him alone. He deserves someone besides a fickle possesive make out buddy. Sorry, but its best he gets a chance to decide what he wants for a change.

odinn7 · Mar 16, 2013, 04:19 PM

You were playing with him and using him... and so worried what others may think. Now he doesn't want you so you want him. Now you are being selfish in a different way.

No, I don't think you love him. I think you are upset that he chose someone else and now isn't interested in you. Let it go.

Cat1864 · Mar 16, 2013, 04:36 PM

bazingabazinga (1 Posts) Asked Today, 06:52 PM —

It all began 4 years ago, I was best friends with this guy and we were very close. Everyone could see that he loved me but I didn't notice at the time. He didn't have the courage to ask me out because he thought I would reject him because I was much more popular than he was and a lot of guys asked me out, he tried to once and when he felt I was embarrassed to say I don't feel the same way he said he was joking. Two years later we started making out, he kind of tricked me into it at first but then I was into it. I didn't know if I had feelings for him or not, we made out for 2 months without anyone knowing until a friend saw us and made him tell me how he feels because she said she was sure I didn't feel the same way and I was just having fun. He told me he was in love me, I said I definitely cared about him but it wasn't love and I said I didn't feel the same way or at least I wasn't sure. We became best friends again, but soon after we started making out again and he told me that he still loved me and that I should tell him if I ever feel the same way. But now a year later his way completely changed he used to buy me things and act cute and call me everyday, now he calls me every other week and he's rude most of the time and he doesn't care about seeing me. And now he says he likes someone and he thinks he might even love her, I cried when he told me and I couldn't sleep that day. I don't know if I love him or not, on one hand he's rude and mean sometimes and he acts like a jerk a lot and he's defenitely not good looking, you know not the guy a girl pictures when she imagines her first boyfriend, and on the other hand I love seeing him and talking to him and kissing him and I think he's smart and funny. I love being alone with him, I feel like I could definitely date him or even marry him if it was only the two of us and my friends and other people who would make fun of me for dating him didn't exist, but when I hang out with him with other people around I don't feel like I love him or wanna be with him. I want to know how I really feel about him before its too late and he's really in love with this new girl, Do you think I might actually love him, or maybe it's because he's the first and only guy I've ever made out with and been intimate with? I'm miserable right now and I'm afraid to lose him for this new girl I don't act fast. This is all I think about please please please help.

You don't love him. You may care about him but it isn't love.

If it were love, you wouldn't care what other people might say and you would have the same feelings with others around as you do when they aren't.

You care more for your self-image and how others see you than you do him.

Time to learn a lesson. Looks can be very deceiving. A box of gravel can be made to look like the most expensive gift ever given. At the same time a plain cardboard box can hold rare and priceless treasure. It sounds like you gave up a treasure because it wasn't in a pretty enough package.

Let this gentleman find happiness with someone who doesn't judge him by what's on the outside. Take some time to figure out what you really want in a boyfriend. Decide if the outside means more to you than what's on the inside.

Good luck figuring out your priorities and learning how accept people as individuals instead of as a part of a group.

fredg · Mar 16, 2013, 10:19 PM

It doesn't matter what you do, because if he doesn't want a relationship with you anymore, there isn't any way you can get him back.
You might be in love, but you are the only one who can tell. Smile, and others will want to talk with you. You will find someone else, and be happy with them. Good luck.

smkanand · Mar 16, 2013, 11:53 PM

You get intimate with someone for a long period and called it fun ? What's wrong with your mind? Still your unable to find out that you love him or not?
The guy loved you I guess but you don't love him. I think you should leave him because eventually you will hurt him and yourself emotionally. You will know when you in love, good luck.