[Incognito12]

First of all I don't care about my boyfriend watching porn, I think it's natural for any guy. Whenever I asked him once in passing he was adamant that he never and said that it was bad for your health. My concern is about lies.

The other night we were on his phone together and porn sites came up in his recent visits. I joked along the lines of 'is that porn? ' and instead of admitting what was blatantly there he lied and tried to delete it from his phone despite me saying I didn't care and I just wanted to see what type of videos.

I was very annoyed that he lied and eventually he said that he does but cannot remember any video ever - no type, no scene, etc. I was shocked that he thought I'd believe that he watched a video recently and he cannot remember any single thing that happened in it. Like he said he doesn't remember any details at all, like complete amnesia. I'm quite open with my guy friends, and I've heard them mention plenty of times about favorite videos and genres of theirs. I just think it is utter lies that he doesn't remember.

I'm just curious to know what he watched as I thought we told each other everything. If he knows me at all he would know I don't care one bit if he watched extreme fetishes or whatever. I'd love to know what he's into.

I would thoughts from other guys!

[fredg]

Any good relationship needs honesty, respect, caring, and a willingness to talk about anything. He misses the boat on most of this.
If he is lying about this, what else will he lie about? I would consider moving on to someone else, and forgot about this guy. Life is full of good things and not-so-good. There is enough to think about without wondering about all this. I do wish you good luck.

[backpack2389]

"I'm just curious to know what he watched as I thought we told each other everything. If he knows me at all he would know I don't care one bit if he watched extreme fetishes or whatever. I'd love to know what he's into."

Have you told him the above information? If not, you should. It might make him more comfortable being honest with you about it.

Otherwise, he is lying about not remembering anything at all from something he just watched. It's just a desperate (and honestly pretty funny) attempt to avoid any arguments about the situation. He makes me think of the little boy who ate the sprinkles and, despite being faced with hard evidence, simply would not admit that he ate them.

[talaniman]

I think you back up, and not push so hard and let him get his head wrapped around that he can share his deep secrets, probably for the first time in his life, and doesn't need to lie.

[CravenMorhead]

He's clearly embarrassed about being caught. You're still poking and prodding him about it. If you don't care that he watches porn than drop it. Stop prying. You're going to do nothing more than anger him frustrate yourself.

Take a moment to sit back and ponder the world that we live in. Common mass media has given many women body image issues. They're not thin enough, or not busty enough, or a host of other flaws that they have and the pretty girls in the mass media world don't.

Porn is a perfect example of this because all the women in a lot of the commercially available porn are 'perfect' examples of the 'feminine form'. They've got perfect perky (fake) boobs, clear and heavily made up skin, no cellulite (again caked under LAYERS of make up), poutty sultry botox injected lip, freshly shaven and smooth bits, and bleached anuses. Compared to this there are a good number of women, who have ingrown hairs, imperfect breasts, lumps, bumps, cellulite, and wobbly bits, insecure about how they look because they believe they can never live up to this.

Now men love their women and all their imperfections. The problem is that they don't want their women to feel insecure because they watch porn. He's afraid that if you found out that he watched porn than you'll think you're inadequate and be hurt. He doesn't want to hurt you. He also doesn't want you to think less of him. He doesn't want you to think that you're not enough. So he's as affected by these body issues as most women are and he doesn't want you feel bad.

He might be embarrassed of the variety of porn that he was watching. There is a hundred and one different varieties out there. He's probably a little embarrassed that he gets turned on by some of the stuff he watches. Trust me my porn collection is varied. Black, white, asian, amateur, midget, furry, anime/hentai, bbw, teen/barely legal, east indian, pregnant (What? My wife is expecting... ), mocked forced, hairy, shaved, lesbian, group, orgy, et al.

Also this is a very private part of his life. It is his Me time. His chance to just take care of himself.

Too Long; Didn't Read: Stop prying and forget about it. You don't have a problem with it. He's embarrassed that he got caught. He will be more clever and find a way to hide it better. Stop looking and let it be. If you do find trails of it than ignore it.

[JudyKayTee]

I've got to agree with the majority - why are you pushing so hard? You've got him pinned into a corner. The more you insist he lied the more he's going to insist he didn't.

Whether the issue is lying or not it seems like a rather trivial issue if he is honest in all other aspects, particularly if OP is open minded about porn.

I'm not certain there aren't other lying issues involved.

[smoothy]

First off, you need to stop the lies... you SAY it doesn't bother you... then everything else is rant about him doing it.. if it didn't bother you, why are you getting so upset about it? First things first... admit it really DOES bother you... when it really shouldn't.

First... he's under no obligation to even answer you about it... all you are is boyfriend and girlfriend, there are no implied rights since either of you can walk away at any moment without any further obligations of any kind. You aren't husband and wife where you each actually do have rights in certain areas.

Boyfriends and girlfriends don't tell each other everything... nor really should they, do you want everyone you ever had a fling with know EVERYTHING about you? I think not for a number of very good reasons. Even husbands and wives rarely tell each other EVERYTHING.

[backpack2389]

Agreed, stop pushing him. The more you pressure him, the more he's going to think it's an issue for you and the more inclined he'll be to lie. He's only lying because he thinks the truth will be unpleasant for you and right now, everything you're doing is reinforcing that idea.

[Incognito12]

I get what some of you are saying about him being embarrassed etc. I don't care about the porn. So let's forget about him actually watching it that's not an issue.

I mean that he says 'he doesn't remember ANYTHING about it at all' I just want some clarification from other who watch porn that that isn't true. Of course you got to remember what you literally just watched hours ago? That's what I'm shocked about.

[talaniman]

Its all a blur, guys just don't take it as seriously as females. Maybe you have found a glitch in your communications between you. Watching is one thing, talking about it is quite another.

[Incognito12]

I don't know, I was just shocked that he said that said that to me and expected me to believe he remembered nothing. I know guys who talk about the scenes and what happened in videos. I'm just finding it very hard to believe he remembers nothing from it.

[talaniman]

Saying that was his cover to NOT talk about it.

[smoothy]

I'm a guy... you watch porn... you forget about it afterwards... its a diversion... we don't pay the sort of attention to it you would say... a major motion picture... or a ball game. I mean seriously... have you really watched porn? Its not about the plot... therefore its great to watch... but most of it is far from what you would call memorable. You know exactly what's going to happen next... you have three endings in the average movie, you aren't missing how it ends if you turn it off a third of the way through the movie,. there is ZERO plot.. and you get to see different people do it.

It wasn't always that way... if you actually watch some of the vintage stuff from the late 60's through early 70's. There actually was a storyline to it. There was also not a lot of surgically enhanced women, or silicone... which was good... but the bad is those were the days before 99% of the people discovered what personal grooming was.

[CravenMorhead]

I dunno, I was just shocked that he said that said that to me and expected me to believe he remembered nothing. I know guys who talk about the scenes and what happened in videos. I'm just finding it very hard to believe he remembers nothing from it.

Why is this important to you?

It's porn. You don't care and he doesn't want to talk about it.

So... What is the issue here? Just forget about it and move on.

[Masqueraderuse]

It's probably always been a more private experience for the guy. He may have been brought up in a setting where he was told it was wrong or previous partners have judged him for it. Don't be too quick to get upset. Its different for everyone. Do you think he would ever be up to watching it WITH you? It might ease the tension and make him more comfortable, bringing the two of you closer together.

Also, Maybe it would make him feel more comfortable if he caught you watching it somehow ;)