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Diamond67 · Mar 9, 2013, 09:42 AM

I have a friend and she thinks she's being abused emotionally.

She is 12 years old and her mom calls her lots of horrible names. When she can't do something her mom calls her stupid cow. She swears at her a lot and says she's useless or fat. She's not fat though.

She also thinks she's being abused physically. Her mom hits her with a stick, a metal and wooden spoon(s), on her hand, a shoe, or slaps her across the face. She usually goes a bit red but it goes away and has no bruise marks only 2 times.

Do you think she is having emotional abuse or physical or both?? Help!!

smkanand · Mar 9, 2013, 09:59 AM

Dear I'm really sad for your friend. This is a complex case of domestic abuse and family troubles. I think the mother is herself have some personal issues and frustration which she is applying on her daughter. May the mother is unable to talk to anybody else or unable to resolve some family or personal matter. However, it is a crime to hit a child and do verbal abuse. Your friend can complaint about her problem to the local authorities in detail. But before that I would suggest two things. First you tell your friends that she is absolutely fine and perfect. No matter what her mother calls her. She must understand that problem is with her mother not herself.
Second your friend should talk with other family members about her problem. Before taking any legal step I would suggest to evaluate the entire situation carefully. Is her mother always been like this to her? If not, then when exactly this behaviour started? Is there any financial, social, psychological or health issues responsible for this behaviour? Or there is some personal problem? After addressing all the issues, I would suggest to contact local authorities. And the girl should not feel any complex about her abilities or looks.

Diamond67 · Mar 9, 2013, 10:21 AM

Her mum is nice to her its just when she's on her phone all the time and when she gets diisturbed or when she's angry

Wondergirl · Mar 9, 2013, 10:24 AM

Which is it? Her mom is nice to her, or her mom is abusing her?

How does she treat her mom? Is she mouthy and doesn't do her chores and homework, or is she always sweet and cooperative?

Diamond67 · Mar 10, 2013, 01:38 AM

She is nice and she's casual but is always bossed round and her sister scratch and hit her an leave bruise marks and her mum is on her phone and doesn't do anything so she asks a couple of times and her mum gets angry
Her mum can be nice at times

Wondergirl · Mar 10, 2013, 07:38 AM

What does she ask her mum? I hate to be interrupted when I am on the phone, especially if the interrupter can do it himself. And sibs often hit and bite and scratch each other (unfortunately), if they are close in age.

Are there some things your friend can do to improve the situation?

Diamond67 · Mar 10, 2013, 12:07 PM

She asks for help when she falls e.g. she fell down te stairs and called her mum but she was on the phone and hit her

Wondergirl · Mar 10, 2013, 01:24 PM

I'm sorry. I don't believe that's the real story.

"When she falls" -- does she fall a lot?

Alty · Mar 10, 2013, 01:40 PM

If your friend feels that she's being abused then she should called CPS (Child protective services). CPS will come to her home, assess the situation, and if she's found to be in danger, she'll be placed in foster care.