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    anon1996's Avatar
    anon1996 Posts: 16, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Mar 8, 2013, 06:27 PM
    Parents?
    Im not saying I'm the best kid a parent can ever have because I know I'm not, nor do I want to be. I don't have the relationship other kids have with their parents when it comes to talking to their parents about certain things (relationships, feelings, etc). Im just not comfortable.

    Im 16 and yeah I've lied to my mom before, Im not proud of it, I've lied about going to someone's house but I go to another person. I know it doesn't help but I'm not hiding any drinking, smoking, drug problem because I am free from all that. Im just not comfortable with all her questions such as what time are you coming at? Who are you with? When are you going to come home?

    I know she's just being the responsible mother she is, but it unnerves me. Anyway, she caught me lying and we got into a huge argument but we've overcome that and one of her conditions is to imporve my grades and go to this youth group. So far, I'm doing progress, great progress actually. But still SHE HAS NO TRUST IN ME. Do I blame her? Of course not, its my own fault and I'm owning up to that. But what sets me off is Im trying to improve but at the same time you're discouraging me. Idk, when people see themselves going to their parents in the future, I don't. I don't want to have that close relationship with my mom because she doesn't me treat me the right way. Even my stepfather says so, he tells me "i dont like how your mom talks to you or treats you"

    She doenst hit me or anything but I can say that I'm emotionally scarred and mentally scarred from her. I don't like going out anymore because of all her questions and it makes me uncomfortable. What's wrong with me?
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #2

    Mar 8, 2013, 06:31 PM
    How do you treat her? Maybe she is scarred from how things have gone in the past when you were a younger teen. Did you act out or were you uncooperative? Or maybe she had a rough teenage and is trying to keep you from going down that road.
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    anon1996 Posts: 16, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Mar 8, 2013, 06:36 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    How do you treat her? Maybe she is scarred from how things have gone in the past when you were a younger teen. Did you act out or were you uncooperative? Or maybe she had a rough teenage and is trying to keep you from going down that road.
    Honestly I'm nothing but nice to her. I know I lied, but honestly I'm trying to improve. I never speak out, I never yell, I do my chores. She tells me to do so many things, do this do that do that after, NO You're NOT DOING IT RIGHT, You're SO STUPID. YOU HAVE NO HEART. She tells me these things, not once.. have I ever spoken out.
    I now possess a scarred wrist due to some contribution from her, and she knowsi cut, but that's because I told her "it was from my watch"

    She once told me you have no heart. "id rather have a son thats stupid but has a heart rather than a smart one but heartless like you"

    Never forgot about it...
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #4

    Mar 8, 2013, 06:40 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by anon1996 View Post
    honestly im nothing but nice to her. i know i lied, but honestly im trying to improve. i never speak out, i never yell, i do my chores.
    Ask her for advice on how to do something the best way. Ask her about growing up, when she was a girl. Smile. Connect with her. It will be painful for you at first but will pay off big time.
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    anon1996 Posts: 16, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Mar 8, 2013, 06:42 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    Ask her for advice on how to do something the best way. Ask her about growing up, when she was a girl. Smile. Connect with her. It will be painful for you at first but will pay off big time.
    Hmm I will try this. But I know, in the future.. right after university. Im not going to have a relationship with my mom. With other supportive family such as my uncle.. yes. But my mom... I don't think so. Im just.. scarred from her. I can't take it.

    Thank you :)
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    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #6

    Mar 8, 2013, 06:50 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by anon1996 View Post
    hmm i will try this. but i know, in the future.. right after university. Im not going to have a relationship with my mom. with other supportive family such as my uncle.. yes. but my mom... i dont think so. Im just.. scarred from her. I can't take it.

    thank you :)
    How much has she scarred you? Give me some examples. (I'm on your side.)
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    anon1996 Posts: 16, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Mar 8, 2013, 07:00 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    How much has she scarred you? Give me some examples. (I'm on your side.)
    I mean its my fault, but I never thought she would go that far. Like I said she's called me heartless. She told me that shed rather have another son that's stupid but has a heart instead of me. She's yelled at me, pulled my hair when I was a kid. Maybe around 6 or 7. I'm a guy by the way. I've been almost kicked out twice because of coming home 10 minutes late. Sun was still up by the way. I've been scratched and hit sometimes, not enough to bruise. Never once I fought back. She's followed me before.
    Thank you for being here for me
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    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #8

    Mar 8, 2013, 07:02 PM
    Do you have any sibs, or are you an only child? If you have sibs, has anyone else gone through this with her?
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    anon1996 Posts: 16, Reputation: 1
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    #9

    Mar 8, 2013, 07:05 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    Do you have any sibs, or are you an only child? If you have sibs, has anyone else gone through this with her?
    I'm an only child. I have no one to really associate with. I'm not calling my mom the worst mom, I'm just saying.. her temper gets the best of her. And I don't think that's someone I want in my life
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    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #10

    Mar 8, 2013, 07:12 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by anon1996 View Post
    im an only child. i have no one to really associate with. im not calling my mom the worst mom, im just saying.. her temper gets teh best of her. and i dont think thats someone i want in my life
    Is she ever nice and agreeable and someone we all want to be with?
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    anon1996 Posts: 16, Reputation: 1
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    #11

    Mar 8, 2013, 07:17 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    Is she ever nice and agreeable and someone we all want to be with?
    With other people she is, sometimes with me. But I never buy into it and in my mind I know its fake because I've seen her mad. I've seen her scream. I've seen her be heartless
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #12

    Mar 8, 2013, 07:19 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by anon1996 View Post
    with other people she is, sometimes with me. But i never buy into it and in my mind i know its fake because ive seen her mad. ive seen her scream. ive seen her be heartless
    But you are also at fault?

    Or she was mean before you acted out? You acted out to get back at her?

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