[need123advice]

I've been dating this girl for 6 months and I like her. Think I love her. She has expressed similar feelings. She is extremely beautiful and turns heads everywhere she goes. For me, it's a bit of a burden. I get worked up (but keep it to myself) when other guys hit on her. Even though I don't feel threatened.

When we first starting, hanging out... holding hands, kissing, dates... her ex boyfriend came back from Europe and they started talking a bit. In the meantime, she was still talking with me. Our relationship was not defined at all at this point. A couple weeks into it, she ended up having sex with him. Twice. Now like I said, her and I had no title at this point. A few days after they had sex, he bailed on her. I ended up hearing about their escapades from him, not her, a couple weeks after the fact. Her and I worked through it. She felt really bad and gave me the "I don't deserve you spiel". Since we weren't in a relationship at that point. I was able to let most of it go. 6 months later, I deal with trust issues.

The majority of her friends are guys. She is always texting and it bothers me knowing that she is in constant chat with multiple guy friends. I've mentioned it, but every time I do, she calls me out on my jealousy and trust issues. I do completely believe that there is no other guy in the picture. That's not an issue. My angst comes from guys hitting on her. She will be messaging a guy friend on Facebook, and he will blatantly hit on her. I know this because, and I'm not proud of this, I look at her messages every once in a while. In the messages she usually shuts them down, but in other messages, she lets the guy continue hitting on her. I sometimes think she enjoys getting hit on. She just continues on with conversation.

A couple weeks ago I wrote on her wall saying, "what's cooking good looking?" she responded sweetly and there were a couple more comments exchanged between the two of us. A couple days later, I look on her wall and there is no sign of our conversation. I went on her FB and saw that she had hidden the post. When I confronted her about it, she played dumb saying that she accidentally hit the hide button. Today, I commented on a picture she had just posted saying, "you're a beauty babe" no less than a minute later, she sent me a text saying that she accidentally erased the picture, and had to repost it (my comment was no longer there). She also said that I shouldn't say babe because her family doesn't know about me and she doesn't want them to see it. I told her that I thought it was ironic how both of the messages I showed affection on had been the result of accidental button pushing. She got mad and insisted this is what happened. How should I approach this?

[VTL]

Dude,

Do the math, move on. Look try this little experiment out Join Match or try some dating site, you will meet some women there and most importantly you will see a large variety of women, and realize this Golden Caveat, at at the end of the day, there is no warranty, you cannot make your girlfriend love you.

Still the alternative is not bad at all there are smart beautiful women who want to meet nice guys. Besides, not saying your girlfriend is a bad person, but she has issues if she'd dump you, go back to her ex ,and then come back to you. The biggest issue, she's not ready to settle and become exclusive, it happens, it sucks, but go back to my Golden Caveat. Absolutely she doesn't want other guys to know about you. Even more so, her "friends" the guys who do know about you don't care, their looking for a hookup without strings, so they'll play along. Good luck hope it works out for you.

[joypulv]

You are spiraling down into the mistrust maw. Sneaking a peek at her Facebook is getting worse, and now you don't know what to believe and are starting not to believe much of anything.
As the old song goes 'If you want to be married for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.'
On the other hand, eventually she will find a man who trusts her, and who knows that the beauty of youth is fleeting.
The choice is yours and only yours. If you go for it, you MUST STOP spying.

[talaniman]

Its not your business how she handles her Facebook page, so either stay off it, or let it go. And if you are insecure about the way she handles her business, and freak out and get suspicious, over DUMB stuff, then you have no business being with her.

Stay cool, calm, and collected my friend, and in control of yourself before you start a bunch of stuff you cannot finish, but she certainly will. It is unacceptable to try and change a person after only 6 months of dating because you feel insecure and cannot trust her. Maybe you need to back up and see this new relationship in a better perspective and align your expectations accordingly.

Work on your personal issues, and THINK before you act or speak. And don't be so scared of losing her that you cannot see reality. Hope you have a happy social life besides her, because being dependent on a 6 month girl friend is not wise in the first place.