[RobinBlaah]

I think I was because when I was younger my cousin use to touch me and make me do stuff.. And I don't know if it was rape and I don't know what to do. I'm not that old. And I've never told anyone this. And I don't know if I should.. I just can't stop thinking about what happened. And my depression is just getting worse. They want to put me in a mental hospital. I'm scared to even go outside sometimes..

[Alty]

Do your parents know about your depression? Would you be comfortable telling them what happened?

I would suggest counseling to help you deal with this. Tell your parents that you'd like to see a counselor to help with your depression. When you see the counselor discuss the molestation, the counselor has to keep everything confidential. The counselor can help you deal with this, and help you find a way to tell your family what happened.

Trust me, trying to deal with this on your own, rarely works. I've been there. Counseling is the only thing that really helped me move on with my life after being molested by my cousin.

[RobinBlaah]

My mom does know about my deoression, but my dad doesn't because I don't live with my dad.. And I do see a counseller. I just have told him any of this. I haven't really said really said anything about my life with my counseller I find it hard to talk to people about my life. I've never told anyone this.

[joypulv]

You could ask to see a woman counselor, if you think that would help you talk about this. Your male counselor is trained to handle any topic at all, no matter how delicate, and probably has other patients like you, but that's not the point if you aren't comfortable.
He may try to get you to stay because wanting to switch therapists is so often a sign that you are getting somewhere but you don't want to face it, but if you say you just can't talk to a man, he should refer you.
You can also talk here, where no one knows you. 'Make you do stuff' - can you remember what, and are you willing to be explicit here (you can use words like penis and vagina)? It will be good practice for telling someone who is sitting right across from you. Don't forget, that person, male or female, is trained to keep you from the fear of being so vulnerable, and they encounter it often, and aren't shocked or disgusted. They also know that none of it was your fault. You will learn in therapy that you were young and didn't have what it took to be in control of the situation, and it isn't who you are now. You may have to go through mistrust, fear, hurt, shame, and guilt before you get to justified anger. Eventually the anger is resolved too, or you use it in good ways like helping others.

Most depression isn't a chemical disorder, it's not letting out those feelings. But if you let it happen for many years, it can affect your chemistry. So let it out now.

[RobinBlaah]

So if I did say anything to any counseller they can't tell anyone..

[JudyKayTee]

"They" want to put you in a mental hospital? Who is "they?"

Where? I believe in some States people have authority are duty bound to report abuse. Ask your counsellor if you tell her/him something confidential if he/she has to report it to the Police.

My concern is that if you don't report the abuse this person will go on and abuse someone else.

[RobinBlaah]

Well 'they' are my counseller and some people at a hospital. I got sent to..

[joypulv]

Yes, what state, and how old are you?
If you are 18+ no one has to report the abuse.
If you are under 18, it goes by state law.

[RobinBlaah]

I live in Canada, and I'm turning 17 in a few days.

[JudyKayTee]

Ask the counsellor - and if I were faced with telling the truth or being committed to a mental hospital I'd tell the truth.

[RobinBlaah]

I'd probably still have to go there, it. Has to do with my depression. They want me to go there so they know I'm not cutting/trying to kil myself and to make sure I take my meds and sleep .

[joypulv]

Robin (no need to say if that's your real name or not), it would help if you tell your therapist before you go in. Hospitals these days aren't really set up for good talk therapy; it's all groups with structure about how to function in general, trying what medications work for you, and setting up a plan for life at home again. That way when you get out you will have more strength to deal with this, hopefully, just by saying it once. Hopefully the 'weight off your chest.'
Remember, depression isn't something that you just 'got' like the flu. It's all connected to the events in your life and your inability to talk about them. Hospitals aren't magical cures. Talking is.
As for your cousin, why are you unwilling to have it be known, especially to your mother? Why were you unable to tell her years ago?

[RobinBlaah]

I don't know, I'm scared to. My cousin is like her brother. His mom is a addicted to drugs so he lived with my grandpa . So I don't know if she would even believe me.

[mogrann]

As someone who was abused while I was a child I find your post to be so cruel Cece1990. Do you understand the concept of how just saying no is not enough. How it is not a child's fault? Do you even know the pain and the judgements an abused child puts on themselves. It took years and years of therapy for to be able to say it is not my fault. I was a child I could do nothing to stop this. I can not control what others do.

[mogrann]

Must spread some rep around before I can give you a 1000 thumbs up for your post Alty. I would if I could as this subject hits close to home. It was last year I stopped blaming myself after ignorant people like that poster. How dare she blame the OP

[Alty]

Must spread some rep around before I can give you a 1000 thumbs up for your post Alty. I would if I could as this subject hits close to home. It was last year I stopped blaming myself after ignorant people like that poster. How dare she blame the OP

This subject hits close to home for me too Mogrann. I was molested by my cousin from the age of 5 until... well, many years later. I was also raped when I was 18. For someone to say it was the OP's fault, or to assume that just saying no would have stopped it, is by far the most ignorant thing I've ever heard in my 42 years on this earth.

I hope the OP knows that this cece person is not worth listening to. The rest of us are here as support, and as proof that you can survive this, that this is not your fault.

[mogrann]

Nods. As someone who went through it and kept it hidden I am going to advise you to tell someone. Family, teacher, therapist someone you trust that can help you. I kept my abuse hidden and did not deal with it until recently. I have always wondered how different my life would have been if I got the help as a teen rather than a 45 year old woman. I was in and out of hospitals, a self injurer, on meds.
Please get some help. I would suggest you write out in detail what you want to say. It can be detailed or something simple like "I was molested and need help dealing with it". If you think you can not say the words maybe after writing it out take it to your therapist.
It will be work to get better but you can do it. I am proof. You can prove to your abuser that you did not crumble but you came out a better person! They did not win. I do have a sticky here with advice for people who self injure
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/mental...nn-723133.html

There is also a thread for people who are having suicidal thoughts
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/mental...ts-653654.html

[RobinBlaah]

Thanks..

[Wondergirl]

>This thread is closed.<