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stank2003 · Feb 19, 2013, 03:26 PM

Me and my boyfriend have been together and the sex is not good. I do the opposite of everything he wants me to do. I have tendency to lock in position and don't allow it to flow freely. Too busy trying to predict his next move. Want to just him right. Too busy hearing everything I'm doing wrong.

Hard to relax durning sex but want to bang his brains out

Wondergirl · Feb 19, 2013, 03:29 PM

Do you two try to control each other outside of the bedroom too?

odinn7 · Feb 19, 2013, 03:32 PM

I'm thinking that if you're so worried about what he's saying, that is probably affecting you.

stank2003 · Feb 19, 2013, 03:59 PM

How do u just relax. Im always tense and afraid I'm going to do something he don't like

teacherjenn4 · Feb 19, 2013, 04:01 PM

Ask him what he likes.

odinn7 · Feb 19, 2013, 04:03 PM

Originally Posted by teacherjenn4

Ask him what he likes.

If you look at her other thread, I think that is much of the problem.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/adult-...ex-735081.html

To the OP... forget what he wants if it's making things so tough for you...

But I have to wonder this... why are you so afraid of what he says? Does he yell at you or something?

Cat1864 · Feb 19, 2013, 07:04 PM

Do you mind sharing more background details such as how long you have been a couple and how long you have been having sex.

I will admit that I don't think you are communicating very well with each other. Have you tried talking to him about the issues when you aren't in bed and in the middle of sex? Are there any reasons such as age or experience differences that keep you from telling him what you need. Is he telling you what you are doing wrong or is that your perception of what is happening?

My best piece of advice for you is to stop having sex or sexual contact with him until you can sit down with him (not in bed) and talk about sex. Discuss likes, dislikes, expectations, distractions, stress factors, birth control, etc. Let him know you are getting stressed out and it isn't enjoyable for you. Work on communicating and compromising in other areas so you can be able to communicate and work together in bed.

Alty · Feb 19, 2013, 07:31 PM

I only have one thing to add, and it's a question.

How old are you? How old is he?

smoothy · Feb 21, 2013, 06:30 PM

I've got another... if they are that far apart what are they doing together.

Before you can meet midway... it helps if you are even on the same planet.