[j-R 3110]

Me and my girlfriend had been dating for a while now and it was amazing. I then left college and then we seemed to argue over daft little things. My best friend told me she flirts with this lad at college so I confronted her about it. She denied it all and said they're just friends so I began to get jealous a bit. Then a few weeks down the line I wake up with a big text saying how she thinks I am like her ex boyfriend and I am jealous and paranoid and how great we were at the start of the relationship and then she said she wanted to go on a break. So I went to her house picked up my gear and left to go to my dad’s (lived a 1 1/2 hours away) she didn’t want me to go to my dad’s though which I didn’t really understand.

So a week had gone. No phone calls, texts, or anything. I rang her and said I feel like I am dangling by a string and need to know do you want to get back together, or break up? She said she loved me and that she can’t get this feeling out of her head that I would hurt her like her ex boyfriend did, promising that he would change, and never did.

I love her, and she loves me, but she doesn’t want it to happen to her again, so called it a day, but I don’t know whether to give up and just be friends, or to try and get her back? Please help.

[fredg]

I think you would be much better off my moving on. Find yourself some new friends, and I am sure you will find someone who cares about you much more than this person. I was divorced after the first 7 yrs, of marriage, then remarried for 30 yrs! Things change, and we have to change with them. Good luck.

[talaniman]

I don't know whether to give up and just be friends, or to try and get her back? Please help.

Don't do either one. Leave her alone completely and move on with your life. No fun dangling on a string, and now you don't have too.

[dontknownuthin]

Move on. She likely wants a man who has equal aspirations to her own. If she's going to be college educated, she likely wants to find and marry a man who is also college educated.

In addition, it is hard for students to date people who are not also students at the same school or, in the case of all girl/all boy schools, at least at a sister/brother school where there's an established social network.

I don't know the circumstances of you leaving school but please go back. Whatever temporary work and hassles or financial struggles are worth it in the long run - go through the strife now to get your education, or go through it for the rest of your life to try to make a reasonable living in this tough world without an education.

As for the relationship, let it go. Learn from the experience and move on. You need a girl who will stand by you through hard times and she needs a guy who can be in her life day to day - neither of you have what you need from this relationship.