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Sarahmark · Feb 8, 2013, 05:05 PM

So there's this guy, he's about 4 years older than me and I'm just 15, we've been talking for a while and he says he loves me and wants to be in a relationship with me. Now the problem is that in the past him and I madeout on his bed but then the day after it we stopped talking for about 1 month. Few weeks ago we saw each other and started talking again and he says he still has feelings for me a lot and wants me really badly. His friends think I'm a slut (for no reason) and they dislike me (even thought they don't know me), he says its not true and he doesn't care. He doesn't want much people to know we talk. Does he like me or he just wants to use me for sex? He is very sweet to me and wants to meet my parents, I don't know what to do. Should I trust him or not?

JudyKayTee · Feb 8, 2013, 05:07 PM

His friends think you're a slut because you "made out" with him on his bed and he told them. I'm surprised they aren't calling you to see you want to "make otu" on their beds.

And, yes, he probably does want you sexually.

He's too old for you; you're too young for him.

What is your question?

Last June you were debating whether to give your boyfriend oral sex.

I think you need to buy a book on sex and your body. Why are you so desperate for male attention at such a young age?

Alty · Feb 8, 2013, 05:10 PM

There's a reason he doesn't want to tell many people you're dating, that reason is that he could end up in jail.

Have your parents meet him, I'm sure that will resolve any questions you have about whether to date him, because they'll forbid it, if they're good parents.

Sarahmark · Feb 8, 2013, 05:16 PM

I'm not desprate, I've never done anything with any guy before, always said no when they asked. Making out on his bed was an accident it wasn't supposed to happen. How should I tell him now that we cannot be toguether? He is getting really sierious and sticky. I am not a whore.

JudyKayTee · Feb 8, 2013, 05:17 PM

You say, "You're too old for me. I don't want to have sex with you. Please stop contacting me."

Alty · Feb 8, 2013, 05:19 PM

Originally Posted by Sarahmark

I'm not desprate, I've never done anything with any guy before, always said no when they asked. Making out on his bed was an accident it wasn't supposed to happen. How should I tell him now that we cannot be toguether? He is getting really sierious and sticky. I am not a whore.

People treat you the way you allow them to. If you make out with him when you barely know him, and he's much older than you, then the only conclusion he can make is that you do that sort of thing with anyone.

It's not a good idea to be with a guy this much older than you. He's an adult, you're a child. Breaking up with him is easy, just tell him that you don't want him to go to jail for statutory rape. If he has half a brain he'll run so fast you won't even know he was ever there.

Be more careful about what you do with boys, it's very easy to get a bad reputation, even if it's unwarranted.

Sarahmark · Feb 8, 2013, 05:19 PM

He's not asking for sex! He just wants a relationship because he says "he loves me". I don't know what to do. He's a good friend thought

Alty · Feb 8, 2013, 05:27 PM

You wrote:

"Does he like me or he just wants to use me for sex?"

So, if he's not asking for sex, why did you ask this question?

Either way, he'd need your parents permission to date you, and in some states if he even kissed you, he'd be breaking the law. He's already done more than just kiss you, so why would he stop now?

Sarahmark · Feb 8, 2013, 05:30 PM

We frenchkissed nothing more. And by "dooes he want to use me for sex" I mean like if he doesn't really love me, it means he would just want to do stuff he shouldn't, right?

Alty · Feb 8, 2013, 05:33 PM

Originally Posted by Sarahmark

We frenchkissed nothing more. And by "dooes he want to use me for sex" I mean like if he doesn't really love me, it means he would just want to do stuff he shouldn't, right?

And we're supposed to know what he wants to do? How? We can't read his mind, we don't even know him!

Bottom line, he's too old for you, so that's the end of this discussion.

If you want to date him, ask your parents permission. If they agree, and you've told them the truth about him, his age, the fact that you've made out with him alone in his bed before, then date him. Realize that your parents giving you permission to date him, does not give you permission to have sex with him.

This is not up to us, it's not even up to you. It's up to your parents only.

Good luck.

Sarahmark · Feb 8, 2013, 05:37 PM

My parents would never accept dating him :l anyway thanks a lot this really helped me make my decision. I will tell him it won't workout, he's too old for me. Thanks again.

JudyKayTee · Feb 8, 2013, 06:45 PM

Is this the same person involved in your question about oral sex?

To be totally blunt you keep asking questions about sexual relationships, thanking everyone for their advice - and then asking another question about a sexual relationship.

Yes, you are desperate. You are making very bad choices in your life.

Sarahmark · Feb 8, 2013, 07:00 PM

No its not the same person. And I did not do anything with the other guy, in fact I dumped him and blocked him. This guy is just a friend and he wants more. That has nothing to do with desperate. If people try to do stuff with me, I'd rather take advice before deciding either yes or no, I guess that's what this site is for :)

Wondergirl · Feb 8, 2013, 07:01 PM

Advice: Always say no.

Sarahmark · Feb 8, 2013, 07:12 PM

What if he stops talking to me? He's such a good friend, we talk since a year

Wondergirl · Feb 8, 2013, 07:21 PM

Talking is fine. No doing anything sexual. No touching. A friend hug or friend kiss, okay, but no sexual advances.

Cat1864 · Feb 9, 2013, 07:38 AM

Originally Posted by Sarahmark

What if he stops talking to me? He's such a good friend, we talk since a year

If he stops talking to you, then he isn't such a 'good friend', is he?

Frankly, if you do not have the same feelings for each other (you want friendship and he wants 'more'), then it would probably be better if you didn't talk as much. He needs to find someone who shares his feelings rather than hoping you change your mind or convince yourself you care more for him than you do.

JudyKayTee · Feb 9, 2013, 08:31 AM

And I would stop "making out" with people, particularly on beds! Read through the legal threads about unwanted pregnancies if you don't understand why.

If nothing more than "making out" happens you are going to get a reputation - which already may have happened - which will haunt you pretty much forever.

Fr_Chuck · Feb 9, 2013, 08:42 AM

If they stop talking to you because you will not have sex, they were never a real friend, sorry a real friend would not stop for that reason.

Yes this boy is just looking for sex. He wants to do it secret, not even properly date you, maybe he even has another girlfriend. But if he can not make it public, he does not love you