[Junejuly]

We live in Indiana. My fiancé has had physical custody of his two boys for almost 4 years now. The mother has a past history of drugs and has had cps involved due to her letting the youngest boy get out and roam the streets. She left after a few months of cps being involved. On and off for 2years she has been in and out of their lives.we can't trust her alone with the boys because she will be putting them in danger. (She has several times) She hasn't seen them in about a year now with no contact at all. We don't know where she lives either. She has supervised visitations but she doesn't even do that. My question is is this considered abandonment on her part. When we get married I would like to adopt them.

[JudyKayTee]

Here's how it works - you get married, usually for a year, and then you apply to adopt the children. The mother either signs or consent or she doesn't sign. If she doesn't agree then you attempt to have her declared unfit and have her rights taken away from her. That almost never, ever happens.

I very much doubt at this point that anything can be done. You, of course, have no legal standing and it's the father's battle.

You can attempt to force her to pay support; you cannot force her to be a good mother.

[ScottGem]

I'm going to disagree here. When you file the petition for adoption, you will be required to serve the mother notice or at least show a good faith effort to have done so. If the mother does not fight against the adoption, it will probably be granted. If she does, given the circumstances, I think you can convince a court it is in the children's best interests to allow the adoption. It will be harder to do so, but I think it can be done.

[JudyKayTee]

I would be interested in how this plays out, Scott. Mother's history is 4 years ago. She apparently has "on and off" contact. I see no indication that she is a current threat. Disinterested, yes. A threat? No.

Would tracking her down show current behavior? Possibly/probably.

CPS steps in all the time (in NY), custody goes to one parent, the other parent doesn't lose rights. States are very reluctant to strip a parent of rights.

So I respectfully disagree.

[ScottGem]

I'm looking at no contact for the last year couple with the previous history.

But there are no guarantees. A local lawyer who knows the mood of the local Family Court judges will probably be able to give a better idea.