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rose87ann · Jan 31, 2013, 05:36 PM

Hi, I'm Tiffany. My kids father has not been in the picture for an entire year and lives somewhere in costa rica. He does not speak or see the kids at all. He is also not on my sons birth records but is on my daughters. We have not been together for 2 years. I do not receive any support from him. Not even gifts for christmas or birthdays. Can I file for child abandonment?

cdad · Jan 31, 2013, 07:01 PM

Do you have a support order against him? Also what state or country is this in?

ScottGem · Jan 31, 2013, 07:49 PM

What do you think filing for abandonment will get you?

rose87ann · Feb 1, 2013, 05:43 AM

Originally Posted by califdadof3

Do you have a support order against him? Also what state or country is this in?

No I do not and I live in MA

rose87ann · Feb 1, 2013, 05:51 AM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

What do you think filing for abandonment will get you?

I'm worried about my kids getting hurt even more then they already are. I do not want support from him. I have given him a year to be part of their lives and he obviously does not want to be. I also don't think that if he decides to change his mind down the rd that he should be able to just jump back into their lives.

ScottGem · Feb 1, 2013, 06:12 AM

First, abandonment is not a charge one can file for. It can be used as grounds when you file for something else, but you can't file for abandonement (see: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family...st-364259.html)

Originally Posted by rose87ann

. I also don't think that if he decides to change his mind down the rd that he should be able to just jump back into their lives.

In understand your feeling that way, but the courts tend to feel differently. Courts will usually look at things with a blood is thicker than water attitude and allow a parent to try to establish a relationship with their children. The is especially true when people become parents at a young age and a level of immaturity. Courts allow people to grow up.

So it is very unlikely you will get his rights terminated. The courts are likely to say he isn't using his rights so why bother. What is likely to happen, is, if he does try to "jump back into their lives", you can withhold contact. He can then go to court and probably get supervised visitation until he gets to know them better and vice versa.

If, you remarry, you can then try for your new husband to adopt, thereby severing his rights.

Fr_Chuck · Feb 1, 2013, 06:14 AM

You do not file "abandonment" you use it as a reason to ask for a change in custody agreement. Who currently has legal custody ?

Next support is what the child deserves, not really what you want or don't want.

There is no way to be sure that he will not try to get back into the child's lives, There is no safe guard. You should , and I assume did, file for custody of the child, and have full legal and physical custody.

But the father could always file for visits, it would be up to the courts to decide at that point.

rose87ann · Feb 1, 2013, 05:38 PM

I'm not really sure but I would assume I have legal custody. I get financial help from the state because of being a single parent with two kids. I claim them as dependents on my taxes. As far as blood is thicker then water I believe that too but I'm not trying to replace him. He is 32 and well aware of his responsibility as a father and on his own decides not to take care of them. If my kids want to c their father I have no problem with that I just want them to be happy and not see that their father doesn't care

ScottGem · Feb 1, 2013, 06:06 PM

It sounds like you have legal custody, at least by default.

But your children are going to realize he doesn't care as long as they are aware that he exists.

rose87ann · Feb 1, 2013, 06:10 PM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

It sounds like you have legal custody, at least by default.

But your children are going to realize he doesn't care as long as they are aware that he exists.

True. Thank u for your time and knowledge